Sunday, November 25, 2007 Singlestalk: How to catch a woman’s attention By Darwin John Moises and Michelle Mendez-Palmares Singlestalk
Michelle: DJ, guys, what do you do when you see a woman you are attracted to? Do you run and hide? Do you use some canned line that you read on the Internet? Do you crack jokes? Or do you just stand there in fear trying to think of the right thing to say? What is the right thing to do? Most guys make the mistake of thinking too much about what to say. They believe there’s one magic line that will work in all situations. They rehearse the magic line and when they say it, hope (or expect) that the woman will be attracted to them.
Unfortunately, this rarely works. To catch a woman’s attention, it is all about the confidence you display when approaching her.
DJ: Thanks for the tip, Mic! It’s not always consoling to eventually learn the right moves from failed realtionships and dates from hell. We’d rather suppress such memory. It’s almost December—a really, really cool month—the best time to give women some guidance and assistance through HHWW (read: holding hands while walking). How can we score in this age and time aside from sending this casual vowel-free text message: “wnt 2 hv drnk 2nyt?” There really are guys like me who, at times, act like an idiot in front of a pretty girl he’s dating. While there’s a cue card in our brain flashing: “Say something,” there really are times when we just can’t. Things like this happen even to those who are said to be funny, witty, cool and disturbingly cute! Guys can be animated but are unusually tongue-tied in matters that are important to us. We’re quiet and almost aloof.
M: I read an article on the Internet about the 10 ways to intrigue and catch a woman’s attention; aside from running her over or flashing her a diamond ring the size of Burkina Faso.
Observe something. Make a comment about something you observe in the environment. The article says this is especially effective at the grocery store.
For example, if she is ordering a tuna sandwich, ask her if the tuna is good there. The article says to make your comment immediate to the situation and it will seem perfectly natural. 2.
Smile. This allegedly shows the woman that the guy is friendly and confident.
This is also the perfect opportunity to show her your teeth (preferably white, straight and food-free). 3. Do not hesitate. If you hesitate in your approach, the article says that it tells the woman that you are not feeling confident—an immediate turn-off. So, when you see her, walk over to her within a short period of time (the three-second rule). Apply Rule no. 2 (“smile”) and comment about what you observe, e.g. “Hi, your hair is so soft.” Eek! Wrong!
4. Positive body language. If a man approaches a woman hunched over with his head down, it sends negative information about the man, which makes him dead in the water before he even begins. Guys, stand up straight with shoulders back and chest out, and use a firm yet relaxed walk. Project Runway!
DJ: Those tips can be helpful specially for guys like me who once messed up a date. Yup. I showed up and ruined their date! Confidence, to a guy, also means good credit history, a stable present net value and a solid projected future income stream. That’s our common measure of success. We’d be grateful if a woman would be kind enough to resist the call to frequently check herself from a compact mirror and care to mention our name at least once from the time we pick her up till the moment we drop her home. Even if we sometimes milk on our cuteness and our archive of recycled jokes, we’re at least making the effort to rescue our date from every possible boredom.
M: Here’s something most guys are guilty of: 5. Not too fast. If a guy walks over too fast, he could likely trigger a woman’s internal alarm. A calm, casual approach is usually the best way to make a woman feel at ease. 6. Keep eye contact. Guys, never be the first to break eye contact when you approach. If you do, this sends the message that you are not feeling good about approaching. When you use strong eye contact, the woman will feel more drawn to you. 7. Listen up. Make sure you pay careful attention to what a woman says. Women love a man who pays attention to the details of what she says. 8. Do not fidget. Fidgeting after an approach is distracting and shows that the guy is uncomfortable. If a man communicates that he is uncomfortable, the woman will feel uncomfortable, too. 9. Lighten your tone of voice. The tone of one’s voice is a very powerful tool. Approaching a woman in a light and non- aggressive tone is one of the best ways to start.
10. Lean away from her. A man who leans in too far when he talks often makes a woman feel crowded. A better approach is to lean away from her slightly. This lets a woman know that you respect her space, boundaries, and are comfortable with yourself. Last but not least, don’t even attempt to fiddle with the strap of a woman’s bra. Not unless you believe you are an alter-ego of a god, in which case you might probably be acquitted but will most likely be ruined (or damned) for all eternity.
DJ: Oh well, not all of us are really stucked on a paradigm that things will get better after the first base. And if in the end we do not stand a chance, no need to console us with the classic it’s-not-you-but-it’s-me line. We’re not defensive 10-year-olds. We can swallow hard, own up, take the whole truth and nothing but the truth. It hurts.
But we’re usually quick to put the woe-is-me pity party to a stop. Things do not always work on our favor, but there’s always something grand to aspire to and some joy to live for. The glass might be half-empty. But it is always half-full. Our future is always bright. That’s why men like to wear shades. Wink!
