Sunday, November 25, 2007 Malilong: Devious wind By Frank Malilong The Other Side
ONCE upon a time, there was this brash promdi who loved to brag to anyone who cared to listen about how skilled a horseman he was. One day, his friends brought him to a farm and pleaded with him to show them his skills.
He bowed exaggeratedly, mounted the horse and off man and beast went.
Thirty meters later, however, disaster struck. He fell off the horse, landing face down with an ugly thud. “I thought you were a good rider,” said one of his friends who rushed to his side. Looking hurt, he replied, “But the horse was terrible. And that was how I usually dismount, anyway!”
Welcome to the theater of the absurd.
Act I: The World Bank announced last week that it has suspended its $232-million loan to the Philippines because of strong suspicions of corruption. To say that the announcement was an embarrassment is an understatement.
But like the rider in the story, Malacañang refused to show any sense of shame and instead blamed the supposed infighting in the World Bank as the reason for the suspension. Don’t look at us but them, a Palace official said. In other words, it’s the horse not me. Corruption? That’s the way we do things here!
Act II: Typhoon “Lando” came roaring last Monday while nobody was looking, not the least our weather bureau, ironically named Pag-asa. “But we did not know that the low pressure area had morphed into a storm until 1:30 p.m. and when we did, we immediately notified the mayor about it,” Pag-asa explained, trying desperately to sound hurt.
The howling winds started molesting the city at 4:30, catching most of us off-guard. The three-hour window that the Pag-asa gave us was plainly and simply insufficient. But don’t blame the bureau’s weather forecasters, folks, says a friend. No, not even their obsolete equipment.
His theory: “Lando” had local origins and since the Pag-asa only watches out only for weather disturbances coming from international waters, such as the Pacific Ocean, it was understandable that the agency missed it completely until it was too late.
“Listen,” he told me. “Remember that the Glorietta exploded only very recently, releasing volumes of methane gas into the atmosphere where it fought for space with Metro Manila’s smog. Methane and pollution make a very lethal brew, he spoke, very much like the second coming of Albert Einstein, and with gusty winds blowing from Malacañang and from both houses of Congress, we had a floating time bomb ready to explode anytime.”
But if “Lando” originated in Manila, why wasn’t it seen on the radar screen before it hit Cebu, I asked. He looked at me, dumbfounded by my utter ignorance of modern scientific principles. “Note that the wind that blew Lando towards Cebu came from senators, congressmen and cabinet members. If it was not intelligent wind, given its source, it was at least devious.”
Thus, he said, “Lando” moved surreptitiously beating the radar screen, following exactly the behavior of the crooks who cook up deals like the ZTE. But wasn’t the ZTE deal uncovered? Yes, he nodded, but only after the s…t hit the ceiling fan. “Remember that ‘Lando” came from methane that in turn came from s…t.”
I told you, my friend thinks like Albert Einstein.
