Sunday, November 25, 2007 Lim: Hijas de Jesus By Melanie T. Lim Wide Awake
TWELVE years at Sacred Heart School-Hijas de Jesus was a life-changing experience for me. Then, it was called Sacred Heart School for Girls. Because of course, there were no boys. And unsuspecting members of the male species who inadvertently found themselves thrust inside our gates were subjected to great scrutiny.
Then, I did not see the wisdom of my education. I saw only rules that seemed designed to make my life hell and ideas that in my arrogance, I felt did not deserve to be heard or complied with.
Junior Proms and Graduation Balls with boys were not allowed because boys would only corrupt our minds and break our hearts. We could not walk, talk or laugh too loudly. We were lectured on the evils of parading our flesh for modeling stints and beauty pageants. We were to be judged by our brains not our bodies.
The nuns, I believed, were jealous of us, for sure. We were young, intelligent and free---free to pursue whatever we wanted. The world was at our feet. They, on the other hand, were over-the-hill, probably romantically frustrated, cloistered and unaware of what was going on in the world.
I was young, foolish and arrogant. I thought the nuns, psychotic.
We had to speak English and were fined when we didn’t. We had to prepare different sizes of perfectly-cut paper on a daily basis. We had to write without mistake or erasure. I was taken aside and lectured on the evils of ambition.
The power of the pen, I was especially cautioned, carried great responsibility.
The nuns uncannily saw into the future and saw what it held for me. They knew long before I did—--that whatever path I chose, I would eventually gravitate towards my one and only burning passion—--writing. How could they have known that one day I would have to make the life-changing decision to pursue love over ambition?
The nuns were not psychotic, after all. They were psychic.
But I did not understand then what the nuns were trying to teach me. I thought it was enough to learn English, Science, Math and History.
I wasn’t exactly a disciple of discipline. I didn’t like rules. I talked too much. I didn’t listen enough. Teachers who couldn’t get my attention in the first five minutes of class lost me for the rest of the year. I was a difficult student. I was always restless, largely bored and never respectful enough of the teacher in front who tried so hard to teach class.
Still, none of them gave up on me. Not the teachers. Not the nuns. A lifetime later, I am grateful.
I am disciplined, organized and fastidious about detail. I speak English well. I set high standards for myself. As a woman, I know I am not better or worse but as good as the next human being. I work hard, love deeply and seek perfection in everything that I pursue. I embrace heartbreak. I celebrate life. I accept accountability for what I do. A purposeful and productive life is what I hope to be my greatest achievement.
Education is the best gift parents can give their children. I’m glad my parents chose wisely.
