Sunday, December 02, 2007 Luab: Every day we lose things By Evelyn R. Luab Light Sunday
I REMEMBER watching a movie on HBO. Patrick Swayze said these lines: “Every day we lose things, sometimes they are trivial and we don’t notice them. Sometimes they are big and they hurt. However, once it’s over, you discover that the loss is replaced with something else.”
I’ve forgotten the name of the movie. However, the saying has stuck in my mind.
In my case, I have a very cluttered desk so I misplace keys, eyeglasses, memos, bills, etc. Never does a day pass when I have to ask my secretary, “Asa naman to?”
(Where is it?) Her usual answer, accompanied by an impish smile, is “Gihatag naman to nako nimo, ma’am.” (I gave it to you already, ma’am) Normally, when they are small things we know that somehow they will turn up in some uncluttered nook when we least expect it. A very common experience of housewives is when they misplace money. They sigh and give it up for lost.
Several weeks later, it turns up under the cookie jar on the kitchen shelf or on top of the piano under the decorative clock.
Because they had given it up for lost, it becomes a bonus and what a joy it is to spend a bonus! You know what I mean. It is no longer included in the budget list!
Glory Alleluia! The big losses are when our business takes a dive, a daughter leaves for the States to settle there, or the death of a loved one.
Business dives can still go up with persistence, fresh capital and innovative changes. A daughter’s relocation could mean an invitation for us to visit a new grandchild.
The loss of a loved one, once accepted and surrendered to God’s will, could mean a fresh start. Adjustments can be made. We get the freedom to do many things, like watching our choice of TV shows instead of “his” (the spouse); or going to concerts (which he did not enjoy); or eating things we would rather have instead of preparing his favorite dishes; or having so much space in our closets, etc. While we say we’d rather have their company, we no longer can have our druthers. So we replace the void with going with our lady friends for brunch and going to movies.
Apostolic activities can now be increased and there are a thousand and one things we can do to fill up the void.
Losses are really opportunities to change. When five of my daughters all left our nest to settle in homes built by their husbands, my partner and I had more time to go wherever we wanted. We traveled all over the Philippines and even camped on beaches.
When I got left alone, my yayas, and employees all formed a protective shield around me to prevent hurt from getting through. What a warm feeling they gave me. I guess this is what Patrick Swayze meant when he said, “Somehow a replacement is given.”
Recently, a friend of mine and I were invited to a meditation group at Redemptorist Church. In the past three sessions, we discovered that by just keeping quiet for a certain amount of time, we can be aware of just “being.”
So far I’ve been looking forward to this once-a-week session. There really is so much more in life to explore after being bereft of something or someone.
Losses may not be replaced by a quantifiable source of happiness, but the knowledge that something else will come can be a source of hope.
