Sunday, December 02, 2007 Lim: December etiquette By Melanie T. Lim Wide Awake
AS Christmas approaches, I have begun to receive requests to write about December etiquette once more. So here I share with you some rules to make Christmas a little bit merrier for everyone.
Buying gifts. Buy gifts with some thought. Don’t just grab the first thing you see on sale in the store. Think about whether or not the recipient of the gift will actually like, want or be delighted by the gift you’re buying. Whether or not we give out of love or obligation, some thought should always be taken when buying a gift.
There is nothing more horrible than receiving an expensive but thoughtless or tasteless gift—--gifts selected in haste and with little thought or taste. Think about the personality, age or lifestyle of the person you are giving the gift to.
Don’t give wine to a teetotal. Don’t give earrings to someone who’s never worn any in her life. Skip the designer bling if she’s never heard of Prada.
Recycling gifts. Recycling gifts is permissible under certain conditions. First, the recycled gift must not have been used before. Second, the recycled gift must be in perfect condition. Third, the recycled gift must not return to its original giver. In the words of my 13-year old niece, this would be ultimate “social suicide.”
Receiving gifts. Upon receiving a gift, acknowledge receipt and say “thank you” to the giver of the gift. According to my sister who fumes annually over her disgustingly rude and ill-mannered, godchildren, kumares and kumpares, there is simply NO EXCUSE for silence.
I agree. Grand gestures are NOT required. A text message will suffice. And take note that a gift does NOT have to be given in return for the gift received.
In Asian societies, gift-giving is often elevated to a contest of sorts. We don’t have to out-do one another in gift-giving. In fact, we do NOT have to exchange gifts, at all, unless we are invited to a soiree where we are specifically told to bring gifts for the “exchanging gifts” portion.
When you receive a gift, accept it with thanks. If you are not a highly insecure individual, you should not feel the need to run to the mall to get the person who gave you the gift, a gift as well. A gift is freely given. It doesn’t require anything in return. If it did, this would not be gift-giving. This would be “exchanging gifts.”
About two decades back, after a number of years exchanging gifts, my best friend told me, “Mel, let’s stop this gift-giving. It all seems so senseless—--the pressure of having to look for a gift for each other because it’s Christmas.
Why don’t we just give gifts to each other whenever we feel like it? After all, we don’t need an occasion to give each other gifts.
With one bold but practical move, my best friend put an end to what might have been a cycle of madness for the rest of our lives. She has been God’s greatest gift to me.
Asking for gifts. Under no circumstances should anyone ask for a gift—--not even in jest. Duh.
(sunstarcebucolumnist@yahoo.com)
nt size="1" face="Verdana">(December 2, 2007 issue) Write letter to the editor.Click here.
