Sunday, December 30, 2007 Women's world: ‘Sadness has wrapped my heart’ By Dr. Dana Ruiz-Sesante & Cindy Ruiz Garaña, R.N. Women’s World
Dear Cindy,
I AM a jolly, happy person and seem to be brave and strong, so to speak.
But lately, after my mom died (four months ago), everything seems to have changed. Loneliness has wrapped my entire heart and mind.
Cindy, I cannot explain and understand this because on the first month everything seemed to be fine. But now, loneliness holds my heart. Perhaps one thing that has added to my loneliness is I didn’t have anyone to share what I feel. My best friend has moved to Manila. I remember my Mom whenever I hear music that has something to do with her, or see pictures—I easily get sad and cry easily.
I can’t help it if memories keep coming back and even in my dreams she is there. How can I fight this loneliness? Especially in this yuletide season when family reunions are being held, I feel the loneliness more.
Aneth
Dear Aneth,
I am sorry to hear that your mom died a few months back. I understand your pain.
Whenever a person dies, particularly someone close to us, there is a natural process of grieving that takes place. It differs from person to person.
Perhaps in your case it involves a certain sadness and melancholy when remembering things about your mom. What is very important is you do not lose yourself in this sadness.
Aneth, if there is one person who would want you to get on with your life it would be your mother! She does not want you to live the rest of your life in the memories of the past, no matter how joyful and good they may be. You must look forward to all that life offers you. It could be a good thing for you to find someone that you can trust to share your feelings with. Maybe you have a close friend or relative who could serve this purpose?
You will probably always experience a sense of loneliness when you remember your mother and the good times you spent with her. There is nothing wrong with this, though the intensity of the feelings will probably diminish with time.
I hope these thoughts and suggestions will be of some help to you. I will remember you and your mother in my prayers.
God bless,
Cindy
Concerned about cell phones
Dear Dr. Dana,
Christmas greetings!
I am a concerned and worried mother who’s wondering about and bothered by this fad of our youth. I mean the cell phone fad. I see a lot of kids wasting away valuable on useless texting. It’s not only a waste of time, it’s also a waste of money.
I wish there was a law prohibiting children from using cell phones. I also hope that parents would regulate the use of these modern-day gadgets that have certainly diverted our youth from their studies. I have four children, and both my husband and I are fiercely against these cell phones. Please help me by answering my question: what is the right age for a child to have a cell phone?
I’m looking forward to see this problem addressed in your column. Thank you and more power.
Precy
Dear Precy,
Actually, you have already squarely hit on the head the reason for the popularity of cell phones among our youth: they are, as you put it, modern-day gadgets. These days no one wants to be seen as hopelessly backward or out of touch with the latest and coolest technological devices.
If it’s any consolation, at least the kids who are so absorbed in their cell phones are kept away from other, more dangerous past times, such as drugs and alcohol drinking. The real downside I see is the deterioration in our children’s language skills, particularly regarding spelling and grammar.
As for our legislators passing a law banning children from using cell phones, I don’t think that’s going to happen. Last I heard, we still live in a free and democratic country. We all have the freedom to use or not to use whatever gadgets we want to, as long as we don’t cause harm to anyone else in the process. The responsibility for regulating cell phone use lies with the individual himself; or in the case of minor children, the parents. It is a parent’s duty to oversee that his or her child is involved only in activities that will redound to the child’s benefit.
To that end, I can’t really give any definite age when a child can be entrusted with responsible cell phone usage. It depends on a lot of factors, such as the child’s maturity and sense of responsibility, the family’s financial means, the extent on which the cell phone will positively or adversely affect the child’s schoolwork, etc. Only a particular parent confronted with a particular child can say for sure if that child is ready for a cell phone or not.
Very truly yours,
Dr. Dana R. Sesante
Dana Ruiz-Sesante, M.D. owns and operates Ruiz Derma & Spa which offers a wide variety of beauty services. There are branches at SM City Cebu Ayala Center, SM-Cebu and other locations.
Cynthia Ruiz-Garaña, RN, supervises Ruiz Beauty and Healthcare Training Institute located at 132 Don Mariano Cui St., Capitol Site, Cebu City. E-mail them at ruizderma@yahoo.com
