Sunday, January 06, 2008 Women's world: Born gay? By Dr. Dana Ruiz-Sesante & Cindy Ruiz Garaña, R.N. Women’s World
Dear Cindy,
I AM a freshman college student at one of the universities here in Cebu. I always attend Holy Mass on Sunday and believe in the power of the Holy Rosary. I even attended religious seminars. Despite all this, I still feel worthless. I feel I am unlucky because I was born abnormal. You see I am gay. My feeling of depression began when I applied for a job and the interviewer said the company doesn’t hire gay employees.
Cindy, sometimes I question the Lord why I was born this way. I sink into depression every time I hear ugly comments about my sexuality. God knows I have tried to act normally, but my gay tendencies always prevail. There was a time I courted a girl just to prove I’m a man. Instead, I ended up hating myself even more because I can’t be somebody people want me to be.
This problem of mine has affected my studies. What am I going to do? Please help.
Edgar
Dear Edgar,
I would like to commend you for admitting your homosexual tendency problem. This is the first and most important step that you to take for you to be able to overcome this problem. I have seen many individuals covering up their homosexual tendencies only to find out later on that they are already practicing homosexuals.
Edgar, refocus your sight and your energy to productive and wholesome activities such as praying, spending time with your family, studying, exercising. Develop a realistic goal for your life, something within your capacity to fulfill. Coping with the problem of homosexuality may not be an easy task. But there are people like you who have overcome this problem by allowing the Lord to reign in their lives.
You can also find a Catholic community that is willing to accept you and shower you with the love of Christ. Your homosexual tendency can be changed with the help of God. I do not believe that you were born “abnormal” or “unlucky.” It has never been the design of our God to create human beings as such. You are His child and very precious to Him. Remember, we are created in His image and likeness. Believe it. He loves you and desires the best for you.
God bless,
Cindy
Worried by flat chest
Dear Dr. Dana,
I now have enough guts to write you about my problem. It’s all about my non-existent breasts. I’m already in my 20s and still my chest is flat. When I go to a department store to buy a new bra, I’m ashamed to say that girls who buy the same size as I do are all still in grade school, still in their school uniforms!
I envy some of my friends who have well-endowed chest. Sometimes I’ve been mistaken for a male because of my non-existent breast. As much as possible, I don’t want to have surgery or anything like that. Is there any medicine I can take or exercises I can do?
I appreciate any advice you can give me. Thanks in advance!
Genelou
Dear Genelou,
Unfortunately, man has yet to develop a medication that can make breasts grow larger. I’m sure that once that happens, the scientists involved will be sure to publicize their medical breakthrough. Till then, there is no method other than cosmetic surgery that can make your breasts grow larger.
As for exercises, there are some regimens you can follow regularly to make your breasts appear larger. Exercising your chest muscles (pectoral muscles, also called “pecs”), which support your breasts, can make them more firm, thus making your breasts upraised and giving them the appearance of a larger size.
Another thing that makes breasts appear larger is gaining weight. The breasts, anatomically speaking, contain a significant amount of fat. The more fat you consume in your diet, the more fat is retained by your body. Since the breasts have fatty tissues, in nature they become a repository of the excess fat in your body. Hence, the fatter you are, the larger they will appear to be. But the problem with this approach is that you will also be retaining fat in the other fat repositories in your body: your abdomen, thighs, arms and buttocks. Thus, though your breasts may seem larger, so will your entire body, and so your overall look will only worsen.
Time and again, I’ve been asked by self-conscious women about this problem. Unfortunately, breast size is largely genetic; something one is born with. So let me reiterate what I’ve often said in the past: the best advice I can give you is work with what God has given you. Some of the best-looking women in Hollywood, like Gwyneth Paltrow, Cameron Diaz or even such style icons as Audrey Hepburn and Jackie Onassis, all had relatively flat chests.
But instead of dwelling on their “shortcomings,” they accentuated their other positive aspects. You, too, can do the same thing. Look for your assets and play them up. That way, you’ll end up having a more positive self-image, which can do wonders for your self-confidence.
Very truly yours,
Dr. Dana Ruiz Sesante
Dana Ruiz-Sesante, M.D. owns and operates Ruiz Derma & Spa which offers a wide variety of beauty services. There are branches at SM City Cebu Ayala Center, SM-Cebu and other locations.
Cynthia Ruiz-Garaña, RN, supervises Ruiz Beauty and Healthcare Training Institute located at 132 Don Mariano Cui St., Capitol Site, Cebu City. E-mail them at ruizderma@yahoo.com
