Saturday, February 09, 2008 Speak Out: Being single on Valentine's Day By Rachel Coy Garces
VALENTINES is the most dreaded time of the year. It is an excuse to overspend on ridiculous hearts, chocolate candies and red roses.
Admittedly I am not a fan of this holiday; in fact this is an attempt to send a message to all the beautiful, successful and wonderful women who were made to feel lacking by society and pressured to be wives and mothers in order to be considered complete and fulfilled.
This is precisely why the words “single,” “happy,” and “valentine” makes us feel alone on Feb. 14.
True enough that it is just one day in a year, but for us women who took time to find the right person and who feel alone on this day feel the impact that lasts for even years.
There is so much sensitivity around this issue as hyped by the media. There are so many books, articles and television shows: “Sex and the City,” “Desperate Housewives,” and even the medical show “Grey’s Anatomy.”
It is in this shows that we single women entertain thoughts of happier times, or long for our very own “Mr. Big” or “Mc Dreamy.”
Let us not forget Tom Cruise’s famous line “You complete me” and Jack Nicholson’s “You make me want to be a better man.” My response to this is an old saying, “You need to love yourself first before you can really love someone.”
So to Tom and Jack, marriage does not make your lives complete and better because if it does then there is something not quite right with your life to begin with.
We are stigmatized by our friends and family for being single. But being single is not a disease to be diagnosed let alone be prescribed with the words “your last chance.”
Let us not cave to the pressure given by these so called love quack doctors to be cured by allowing ourselves to date every available man.
Realize that settling is not good enough—we deserve so much better by setting standards!
I am not saying that there aren’t any positives to being in love and married but it is much better to be single and free than to be in a marriage without love and ends in regrets.
To all the fabulous single women, let us enjoy life and spend our time on things we will not have time for once we are wives and mothers.
Society, well-meaning co-workers, church friends, strangers, family and friends: being single is not a disease to be cured, it is a decision to be respected.
