Sunday, March 02, 2008 Moises and Mendez-Palmares: The right one By Darwin John Moises and Michelle Mendez-Palmares Singles talk
Michelle: A friend whom I haven’t heard from for sometime sent me a text message that made me detect something was different about him or something was amiss in his love life. He said “you can only truly fall in love with one person. And the others? Well, they just make your heart beat. You’ll get to meet a lot of people but there’s only one to who you’ll fully give your heart. Sure, you’ll get attracted to many. But what you’ll have are just feelings. Whether you play around or not, there will only be one person for you in the end. It can be hard finding that person and even harder to feel that emotion. But I’ve been told, it can happen. I don’t know if my friend, who I know to be a player, has gone the straight and narrow road. Maybe he’s been hit by cupid’s arrow and has finally fallen in love. Is there such a thing as one true love?
DJ: I believe in true love. There really is some kind of magic that we share with another person. And it doesn’t happen every day. We can be attracted to many but that isn’t necessarily love. Note that the experience is usually mutual. There is nothing quite melodramatic as unrequited love. But let’s get real here. Hint. A guy who likes a girl will call her. Not on a five-minute interval but at a consistent pace to let her know that he cares about her. Some hopeless romantics try to imagine that he’s just mysterious, busy or shy, ignoring the more probable truth that he’s simply not interested. There is a very fine line between the sweet persistence of a rejected amour and the criminal nature of a stalker. At times love is also about letting go of someone who loves us less.
M: I’ve been told that we can fall in love with different people in varying degrees—at different times. I mean can one person feel the same depth of love for two or three others at the same time? I don’t think so. There’s got to be one person who stands above the rest. That’s why I don’t believe that guy can fall in love with two women and say that he feels exactly the same for both of them. What he feels for one is genuine and the other is probably just for fun, for diversion or for variety. Eventually, if the guy comes to his senses, he would be wise to choose one. Having two or more partners means trouble and stress. Not to mention, costly! Although sometimes we go through a lot of relationships before we can say that we have found “the one,” it might also be possible that during that time you were together, you thought he or she was “the one.”
DJ: To an extent, I agree to with you, Mic. I met this wise woman while I was on a business trip in Bangalore a couple of years ago. I was particularly curious why an arranged marriage has more chance of success in her country than a love marriage. Still she told me that it is a blessing to be in a culture in which love, as the foundation for a union, is encouraged. According to her, it’s possible to have marriage that’s like a dream come true. But if there is a space in one’s heart that has already been taken, nothing and no one can fill that space. That taught me the importance of openness. At times, there is no need to search further. In the ordinary is where the one who is right for us might just be. We just need to wake up and she becomes special. And more importantly, that also strengthened my belief that to be in a relationship is a choice, not just for the sake of having someone to hold hands while walking.
M: Women are romantics. They want a guy who can sweep them off their feet. They want to find their Prince Charming and live happily every after. Storybook endings and fairy tales rarely happen in real life. We can find the right person, but we still have to work on our relationships. Loving isn’t just a matter of feeling. We have to decide to love every day even if we don’t feel like it. Nobody is perfect. I think we shouldn’t focus on looking for the one but become one worth looking for and knowing more. And then we don’t even have to try to steal someone’s heart away!
DJ: The funny thing is Prince Charming might even be a bit balder than she had hoped for! But seriously, it’s possible that there’s only one true love. Someone once said that many things can capture our eyes, but only few of them can capture our hearts. It’s also possible that a relationship cannot work and will not work. In fact, there really are cases in which a love for one’s self can only begin when one’s love for another have already ended. Ultimately, what’s more important is one’s readiness to give his or her all in the same way that one accepts all that is given to him or her. Love hopes, believes and endures all things. We were never assured to have “the right one.” What we can be sure of is we can be “the right one.” Even in one’s silence and solitude. So to those who are still single, don’t panic. Above all, remain calm. And if you’re already calm, wake up!
