Thursday, March 13, 2008 The Grammar Cop By Jess Saplala
GRAMMAR SLIPS at the ombudsman hearing:
Wrong: Your honors, would you please clarify me on the plaintiff’s motion?
Right: Your honor, would you please enlighten me on the plaintiff’s motion?
The Law: “Honors” is not the plural form of “honor.” Regardless of the number of judges in a panel, “Your honor” is the correct address. “Honors” holds several meanings: (a) social courtesy offered to a guest, e.g., “The secretary will do the honors of introducing the president.” (b) high academic achievement, e.g., “The bar topnotcher received academic honors at graduation.” (c) public ceremonies of respect, e.g., “The war casualties were given military honors at Fort Cemetery.”
“Clarify” means to make something easier to understand, i.e., “The teacher clarified the topic for debate.” To “enlighten” means to give explanation to a PERSON, i.e., “The court enlightened the accused of his legal rights. Remember, you enlighten a person and you clarify something.”
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BRUTAL LEGALESE, lawyer’s talk:
Wrong: “However, should you fail to communicate with us, we will be left with no recourse but to file our civil/criminal complaint against you in our regular courts and further notify the Bankers Association of the Philippines-Negative File System and other government credit bureaus to validate the negative credit standing you have in our community...”
This legal garbage (gobbledygook is too mild a term to use) is part of a collection letter from a cable firm’s counsel demanding payment of a 45-day overdue amount of—hold your breath—P664!
Right: “You might have overlooked paying our client’s bill in the amount of P664. We will be grateful if you can settle it soon.”
The Law: You lose customers with convoluted, high falutin legal verbiage. It seems senseless that a law firm will go to court just to collect a meager (slang syn., measly) sum, considering the court case will entail tens of thousands of pesos!
