Sunday, March 16, 2008 Moises and Mendez-Palmares: Smack that? By Darwin John Moises and Michelle Mendez-Palmares singles talk
MICHELLE: Unconditional love is an ideal. The truth is many of us do not love or are loved unconditionally. They say love is blind. Some say love should also be mute. If that is the case, a perfect relationship is between a blind man and a mute woman! But there is no such thing as a perfect relationship. There always comes a time in every relationship that stretches one’s limits, tests one’s patience, understanding and love for another. Although the greatest commandant is to love one another, it’s difficult to really love... especially to love the unlovable.
DJ: Let’s get real here. There really are people who challenge whether my anger management class has been effective. They leap over fences to promote their personal interests in big, heaping servings. At times, I honestly play inside my head the pure-adrenaline battle scenes in the movie 300, hit on the pause button right at the slicing point, then roar back into the full kill mode. But the shoe can also be on the other foot. I am imperfect and who knows, my presence might also be causing seismic emotional shift on others. It’s important that we stop, look within and start working on our self. Besides, dad was right with what he said when I was a kid—in every bully is a sad story. This is still true even now that I am a grown man navigating through the corridors of power. Slow boil resentment, and occasional sarcasm. Compassion is still that spoonful of sugar that helps the hate go down a lot easier.
M: I think everyone can relate on how challenging it is to love someone who is difficult to love or even like. There are just some people who are so aversive and abrasive that they are disliked even before they open their mouths. There are also some who are delightful looking, but are obnoxious and have an unpleasant attitude that people tend to shy away from them. Then there are those who are a feast to the eyes, but not to the ears. I’m referring to the winner of the Bb.-World 2008 who got the condemnation of many because of the now-infamous interview portion, the excerpt of which is quoted verbatim:
Paolo Bediones: Janina, how are you?
Janina San Miguel: I’m fine.
Paolo Bediones: Alright, so you won two of the major awards—Best in Long Gown, Best in Swimsuit—do you feel any pressure right now?
Janina San Miguel: No, I don’t feel any pressure right now.
Paolo Bediones: Confident! Alright! Please choose a name of the judge.
Paolo Bediones: We have Miss Vivienne Tan.
Vivienne Tan: Good Evening.
Janina San Miguel: Good Evening.
Vivienne Tan: The question is, what role did your family play to you as candidate to Bb. Pilinas?
Janina San Miguel: Well, my family’s role for me is so important b’coz there was the wa- they’re, they was the one who’s... very... Hahahaha... Oh I’m so sorry, Ahhmm... My pamily... My family... Oh my god... I’m...
(Paolo Bediones: Pwede ka magtagalog, ok lang.)
Janina San Miguel: Ok, I’m so sorry... I... I told you that I’m so confident... Eto, Ahhmm, wait... Ha, ha, ha, ha, Ahmmm, Sorry guys because this was really my first pageant ever b’coz I’m only 17 years old and aha, ha, ha I, I did not expect that I came from, I came from one of the top 10. Hmm, so... but I said dot my family is the most important persons in my life. Thank you.”
I know many just love to hate her these days but it’s sad, really. I pity her. But as they say: “Whatever does not kill us makes us stronger.” And I believe that love is stronger than hate. I thank you.
DJ: Clarity comes from a gentle shift in perspective, from the willingness to look within and the situation instead of feeding the furnace of hate. Duplicity, for instance, usually ticks me off. The “craptasticality” of it all makes it almost always a struggle for me to look beyond the person, beyond the situation for me to see the person’s soul. But if I love only those who love me, like only those who like me or to choose to be kind only to those who are kind to me, love becomes just a feeling. But love is a decision. It’s unconditional. There’s always a place for caring, sharing and wearing one’s heart on one’s sleeve. It’s cool to learn more about a better way of looking at others without having to stress ourselves by over compromising and overcompensating, by being too “nice” to be truthful. Someone once said we teach others how to treat us.
M: Amen to everything you said, DJ!
DJ: It’s easier to accept that the world is bad and sad rather than to believe that it’s a mix of the good and the bad. Life is imperfect. It never runs out of mistakes to make and lessons to learn. While we did not choose all that happened in our lives, we chose many of the experiences we have right now. May the season of Lent inspire us to start again to look at the person in the mirror and face up to who we truly are.
