Saturday, March 22, 2008 The Grammar Cop By Jess Saplala
AS A vigorous language, English never stops amazing us. Take this classic punctuation game:
“Woman without her man is nothing.”
Given two commas to play the game with and drive home a gender message, a woman will correctly write: “Woman, without her, man is nothing.”
And how would the Lotharios counter? “Woman, without her man, is nothing.” (The war of the sexes marches on!)
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Here’s another amusing number:
Bô (as in bow and arrow) and BÔÔ (as in BOOM) in bouquet will reveal if a man woos a lady with a bunch of flowers or with a bottle of red wine.
He sends her a bouquet (bô kâ) of roses on her birthday. On Christmas, he sends her a bottle of Chardonnay with her favorite woody bouquet (bôô kâ).
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SPOONERISM gives English speakers, on the other hand, a headache or two. Named after W. A. Spooner of Oxford U, the problem arises when a speaker unintentionally interchanges the sounds in two or more words. Here are some to chew with your fresh-brewed arabica:
Wrong: It’s a well-boiled magazine.
Right: It’s a well-oiled machine.
Wrong: Don’t live alone without it.
Right: Don’t live home without it.
Wrong: Go and loo dikewise!
Right: Go and do likewise!
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Language tickler: If your name is Randy and you introduce yourself to a British, “Hello, I’m Randy,” that would be like saying, “Hello, I’m horny.”
