Monday, March 24, 2008 Baumgart: The Taxi Conspiracy By Elisabeth Baumgart inkblots
DON’T you just hate it when you are in dire need of a cab and you never seem to be able to get one, and when you don’t need one, dozens just drive by?
What’s worse is that after patiently waiting for so many hours, one empty cab finally drives by but as you try to flag it down, it misses you completely. Worse yet, some bigger specie of transportation covers you from the cabbie’s sight, rendering your invisible to the cab.
Perfect.
It’s on a day like this that you just wish to have your own car and add to the city’s traffic problem. The only problem is you don’t own a car and you’re not trusted behind the wheel.
It’s really frustrating. When you need nothing more than a cab to ride, you never get one because half of Cebu’s population decides to ride a taxi at the same time as you.
Coincidence? I don’t think so.
This is obviously just a diabolical plan to piss you off and make you incredibly, incredibly late.
Somebody just really hates you and wants nothing more to annoy the hell out of you and make you late for your next appointment.
Without a doubt, somebody must be controlling the minds of Cebu’s taxi riding population and ordering them to spontaneously ride a cab when you need a taxi the most -when it rains, when you are going home, when you are late for a meeting or worse, when you are running late for class.
So, I appeal to those who have that little voice inside their head that commands them to ride a taxi.
Please, for the love of what is good, pink and fluffy, do not listen to that voice. Do not-I repeat-do not ride a cab. Do not become drones to that disembodied voice that controls your taxi riding urges.
Instead, allow us, the people who do not own cars and who are not trusted behind a steering wheel, to finally grab a cab when we need it the most.
If you hear a tiny voice in the back of your mind telling you to grab a cab, do not listen to it. Instead, dunk your head into a pail of water to literally drown out the voice.
Before I will forget, I shall appeal as well to the drivers of all Public Utility Jeepneys. My appeal shall be clear and precise.
For crying out loud, do not stop right in front of a person who obviously did not flag down your jeep! If aforementioned person did not raise his or her hand in the nationally accepted sign of flagging down a vehicle, then obviously, the aforementioned person does not want to board your vehicle.
By stopping right in front of the person, you are blocking him or her from plain sight of passing vacant taxi drivers-taxis that he or she waited hours for.
Whoever said rush hour exists? It’s a conspiracy, really.
