Sunday, March 30, 2008 Lim: Dream By Melanie T. Lim Wide Awake
I’VE always advocated for the dream.
And not because I believe it is easy to dream. Or easy to make one’s dreams come true. But if I root for the dream, it is because dreams signify hope and more than anything else, it is hope that keeps us alive. Of course it is not enough to be alive. The essence of life, after all, does not lie in being alive but rather in living life.
And that, I think, is harder than making one’s dreams come true.
Even as a child, I was not a morning person. I hated getting up early for school. And all the way through college, I naively imagined that when my life as a student ended, I would be the happiest person on Earth. My life would be completely pain-free. How ridiculously naïve of me to think that getting up early in the morning was the hardest part of life.
Life did not get easier with age. It only got more challenging. Today, I do not have to worry about getting up early in the morning but only because I haven’t gone to sleep yet when the early risers of the city are just awakening.
Now I look back and laugh at how my simple, childlike mind worked. I could not wait to be an adult. No one would tell me what to do. I would go as I pleased. Do as I pleased. I would live my dreams. And I would be the success I always believed I was going to be.
I cannot lie and say all my dreams came true.
But that doesn’t hurt me. Not anymore. With age, you somehow become more accepting of what cannot be. Perhaps because with age, you realize there is not just one dream and that more important than making all your dreams come true is to never let go of all your dreams.
I never look back and imagine what might have been. I believe that if you have found contentment in your life, you may look to the past and the future but you will always live in the present. Contentment doesn’t mean giving up your dreams. On the contrary, it means finding joy in-between the realization of your dreams.
I live. I love. I cry. I celebrate. I am no saint. But I do what I can to make life better for myself as well as for others. I don’t always succeed. Sometimes, I am gravely misunderstood if not unappreciated. But it is the certainty of life after death that keeps me alive, that fuels me to live, that gives me the courage to face the end, knowing it is simply the beginning of something else.
I’ve been taken for a ride. My heart’s been broken many times. I’ve been betrayed by friend and reviled by foe. But I refuse to give up. God never gave up on me. Am I the success I always believed I was going to be?
I have found peace, significance, contentment. And I still dream. This may not be the success I envisioned for myself—but, hey, I’m not complaining.
