Sunday, May 18, 2008 Moises and Mendez-Palmares: Happy is gay By Darwin John Moises and Michelle Mendez-Palmares singles talk
Michelle: In the beginning, when God created man and woman, when He saw them He said it was good. Today, we find different sorts of personalities that merge the characteristics of both man and woman. Many aren’t too sure if that’s good or bad. I have nothing against gays. In fact some of my good friends whom I respect and admire are gay. It’s just that with the onslaught of metrosexuals – fashionable men who aren’t afraid of facials and foot scrubs, it’s kind of hard to know if a guy is straight or not. If you’ve read the blog of Brian Gorrell, one of his posts was about homophobia and he wrote that he got a lot of comments and emails - pro and against gays, which means that the matter matters to a lot of people. On a lighter note, if guys think women are vain, then they haven’t met a metrosexual. In fact, I know some guys who take gluthathione and as far as know they’re not gay.
DJ: Recently, vanity isn’t only associated with women anymore. The world of self-pampering these days is being invaded by the most unlikely set: creatures with double X-chromosomes who, once upon a time, were viewed as inhabitants of Mars. Some of our species have not only left our home planets but they’re now knocking on the doors of their favorite spas. Some are called metrosexuals, others gay. Whichever is the case both sets seem to be happy.
M: When I studied in Manila, my friends and I would regularly go to Malate. I was constantly amazed with the eclectic mix of people who frequented the area. Professionals and businessmen mixed with the artsy types. Men and women and more often than not, gays came in droves. The latter really livened up the Malate scene. The really obvious ones donned outlandish outfits (think RuPaul) but what struck me was that men whom I thought were straight and looked straight were actually not. A female friend was dismayed to know that the guy she was eyeing wasn’t attracted to her but to our male friend. Talk about let down.
DJ: I remember a good female friend once asked me whether the guy she was dating was really a true-blue guy. She told me that one time the guy didn’t return her text messages until hours later when he replied: “Sorry, I was having facial.” She’s also amused that they once talked for hours over dinner about beauty products they have in common. He even introduced her to foot sprays! Of course, it is not for me, or anyone for that matter, to judge. While I can recommend that a woman can use her seventh sense to spot the real difference, no one really knows what’s on the guy’s mind except himself. For all we know, he’s just shy to admit he’s got athlete’s foot!
M: If one is comfortable with his or her sexuality, then it presents no problem. It’s when one is confused that things become confusing! One time, an acquaintance confided to me that he’s gay and that his friends didn’t know about it. He had successfully hidden it from them but was struggling with it. Frankly I didn’t know what to say or do except to assure him that I didn’t think less of him as a person. After his “confession”, he seemed almost peaceful. And looked happy and gay.
DJ: We can’t always rely on external signs. The young couple can be cooing across your table in a restaurant due to the guy’s intense interest on his date’s brand of lipstick, or the cute gal who always gets her mid-afternoon caffeine fix the same time as yours in Starbucks likes women as much as men. We can never tell. But nothing really beats being true to one’s self. This is good primarily for the person himself or herself. It’s hard to live in a lie be it in one’s economic status or gender preferences. It puts unnecessary pressure and sooner or later is bound to explode. A person can live an honorable life for who and what he or she is. I have met many people, gays or straight, who live a good life worthy of honor and respect. Now I try to see people, not on his or her preferences, but with the quality of his or her life and the choices he or she makes. No one really is answerable to anyone except to God who loves us all imperfect as we all are.
