Sunday, June 29, 2008 Luab: Don't think of loneliness By Evelyn R. Luab light sunday
THERE are hundreds of widows who have opted to live independently. The desire to maintain one’s freedom from shackles, unsolicited advice, and intrusions into one’s privacy have won over the fear of being lonely.
We do not deny that loneliness is a tough adversary. We find the weekends pretty scary. We dislike free time merely because we do not want to impinge on the schedules of our children. They have families of their own and plans of their own, too.
During weekdays we have our work, for those who are still working. For retirees, apostolic activities are held on weekdays. Bible groups, meditation groups, barangay rosary prayer, and feeding programs are held on weekdays. Our days are full from sunrise to sunset. Weekends, however, always seem to stretch into the longest days.
Our children do come to visit sometimes for lunch or supper. However, they leave and the house becomes silent again. Sunday outings, either with the children or with friends, do end. The euphoria leaves a void when we return to an empty house. So are we lonely? Definitely yes! Is it a major catastrophe? No, absolutely not!
Why am I writing about loneliness? Because a reader called me up to ask how I cope with being a widow. She was so depressed and declared that life was no longer worth living. It took me quite a while to convince her that life — with all its ups and downs, loneliness and happiness — is still the best gift we have from God. The trick to solving the problem of loneliness is to savor life.
A close-range glance at any baby with his toothy grin is enough to dispel the clouds of boredom.
Greeting friends, wearing their Sunday best, at Sunday Holy Mass is a joy to share. One can notice the lovely shade of blue in a suit or the intricate piece of necklace which around another friend’s lovely neck.
Teen-agers in jeans and figure hugging colorful t-shirts are something to behold.
I always enjoy watching a couple, whether they are young or old, walking leisurely. There is always something about the aura of love that warms the heart.
Being alone at home can be depressing. This can only happen if you allow it to happen. I’ve enjoyed many a-time a good movie on TV. With a tray of my lunch or dinner spread on a tiny table in front of my TV set, I settle on a good movie and enjoy my food, too.
Curling up with a best seller can be fun. Actually, looking for bargains in bookstores can occupy our time. We can find ourselves lost at the bookstores.
I enjoy going around the building of Fort in Bonifacio, Manila. There you can find “Fully Booked.” With four levels per floor of books, where one is allowed to browse to one’s heart’s content, one can be very, very occupied and happy. But why think of Manila?
We now have several bookstores in Cebu and several malls to go window-shopping. “Used clothes” shops have become plentiful. One does not have to buy! One merely feasts one’s eyes on beautiful items.
There are bargain items even if mall wide sales are not on. Many a-time I’ve come home to share with my house helper the lovely bargain items I’ve brought. Their “ohs” and “ahs” somehow are music to the ears.
To my compañeros (companions in solitary life), there certainly is much which life graciously hands out to us. We only have to be observant, resilient and grateful for the many gifts of joys, which do come our way. And the gifts are beautiful!
