Sunday, July 27, 2008 Lim: Sex education By Melanie T. Lim Wide Awake
WHAT is it about sex education that scares us so much?
Some contend that giving children information about sex will lead to curiosity then to experimentation. I disagree. We become curious when we know too little about something. When we know everything we want to know about something—that effectively kills our curiosity and the need for experimentation.
Contrary to what many people believe, teen-agers do not have sex because they acquire knowledge about contraception. They have sex because their hormones are raging, media and movies romanticize sex and because teen-agers do not receive enough information about the risks and consequences of sex.
If we could have our way, we would want our children to have sex only after we’re six feet below the ground. But why give them a motive to kill us?
The reality is that sex is ubiquitous. We cannot pretend it does not exist. We cannot isolate our children from the messages they are bombarded with everyday about sex and sexuality. But we cannot win the war against pre-marital sex and promiscuity by putting the fear of God in our children’s hearts.
I can guarantee you that the moment you open your mouth to say that sex should only come after marriage, your teen-agers will shut you out. Everything else you say after that will be meaningless and unheard anyway so don’t begin your lecture with what is right or wrong—that is, if you want your teen-agers to pay attention.
Turn back the clock and remember the time you were a teen-ager. Did you want a lecture about right and wrong from your parents? Please, I’m a 40-ager and the moment my father opens his mouth to tell me right from wrong, I shut my ears. Whether 14 or 40, no one wants to be told what is right or wrong. You want to decide for yourself.
So lay out the cold, hard facts. Speak of the risks and consequences of sexual activity—unplanned pregnancies, sexually-transmitted diseases not to mention the heartbreak that follows when you bring sex into your relationship and it doesn’t work out. And then leave the decision to your teen-agers. Of course, it goes without saying that this should be followed by a lifetime of prayer.
Sex education should not only be viewed in a clinical manner. Sex education should not just be information about the reproductive process, contraception, pregnancies and STDs. Sex education should, more importantly, be the development of sexual behavior that contributes to the general health, dignity and well-being of individuals.
Sex education’s goal should NOT be to frighten, condemn or shame our children.
On the contrary, the goal of sex education is to equip children with the skills to make informed decisions about sex and sexuality when they become teen-agers or adults. Effective sex education should allow our teen-agers to make wise, independent and confident decisions about their sexuality despite what their peers may dictate.
