Monday, July 28, 2008 Nalzaro: Tears of joy and sadness By Bobby Nalzaro
“DEATH is not the extinguishing of life. It is putting out the lamp because dawn has come.”
—Rabindranath Tagore, Nobel Prize laureate
DIPOLOG CITY-That was the quote sent to me through text by veteran columnist Johnny Mercado when he condoled with me on the demise of my beloved mother, Dorotea Galeza Nalzaro.
Yes, I cried heavily when I arrived here Saturday afternoon, seeing my beloved Nanay Doring, whose remains now lay in our small house in Barangay Olingan, in the casket. The last time I cried heavily was when my father and elder sister died a couple of years ago. But Saturday was the first time that I cried of that magnitude. That’s how I love my mother, who passed away Wednesday night. I will surely miss her. Losing a very special person is very emotionally draining. I am reserving my tears on her interment this coming Saturday, Aug. 2.
It was mixed feelings. There were tears of joy and tears of sadness. I shed tears because she is gone and we will be longing for her forever. But on the positive side, I was also thankful to the Lord because the agony and pain suffered by my mother due to her recent condition will not be prolonged.
It was also very agonizing and painful on our part seeing her in that condition. She was already bedridden after her recent confinement. Though painful, but we have to accept it. Thy will be done. Her age was already a bonus for her. People seldom reach that age. She was 83.
Nanay Doring was part of my priorities in life, aside from my own family. She was one of my concerns. I included her personal needs in my monthly budget from my earnings. But then again, I know that the money we gave cannot compensate for her longing for us. Through the long years that I was away from her, I took time to visit and spend time with her, especially during my annual vacation. When I am in Cebu, I really spared time talking to her over the cellular phone, more often just to say ‘hello.’
I left my parents when I was 16 years old when I enrolled into college at the Ateneo De Zamboanga in Zamboanga City, which is six hours travel by land from Dipolog City. Since then, I was no longer under their care. I lived on my own. I was already working in the media while taking up Mass Communications. I just visit them occasionally. When my father died in 1994, Nanay stayed alone in our ancestral home. She was then very healthy and was still managing the cultivation of our agricultural land.
When she got old and could no longer do things on her own, we hired a relative to be her personal caregiver. We invited her to stay with any of her children but she opted to stay in our home. She did not even like spending vacation with us in the big city. If she did go, the longest she would stay is three days and she will ask us to send her back home because she said she got sick doing nothing. She did not like going to shopping malls or visiting tourist sites. Besides, she was worried about our old house, ricefield, her pets and cattle. That was how probensiyana my Nanay Doring was.
We are away from our mother because of our respective professional calling. Our family situation is very typical of a Filipino family, especially among rural folks. Children are away from their parents because they work in other places to earn a living. We are all over the country. My brothers and sisters are in Palawan, Bacolod, Iloilo and Zamboanga City respectively. But we see to it that we have our family reunion every two years.
But now that she is gone, I don’t know if I would still like to visit or stay here in my native land. Not for now.
