Sunday, August 24, 2008 A victim of witchcraft? By Dr. Dana Ruiz-Sesante & Cindy Ruiz Garaña, R.N. Women’s world
Dear Cindy,
I HAVE a friend in the office who is suffering from an illness. She hasn’t been able to walk on her own for quite a long time.
Her speech has been affected by her illness as well, and her fingers have lost their dexterity, though she still can write slowly.
Cindy, she’s been like this for almost a year now and she has consulted several doctors about her illness. She has undergone several examinations and laboratory tests, plus treatments. Her brain and nerve scans showed negative results.
Still, with no exact diagnosis but “probable multiple sclerosis.”
She has been to several faith healers and they believe that somebody is practicing witchcraft on her. At the same time she’s into numerous medications (skeletal muscle relaxants). Since there is no definite diagnosis on my friend’s sickness until now, we are inclined to believe that this faith healer could be right.
Although we are certain that witchcraft and other forms of evil works really exist, we would like to know if we are correct in our conclusion regarding her case, and what are the specific steps or procedures to fight against these evil forces? Where do we go? What are we going to do?
Carmen
Dear Carmen,
The situation of your friend is rather unusual. As a Christian and a devout Catholic, I do not think I would ever recommend or condone faith healers. Yes, they may seem to be able to help sometimes, but as Christians, we turn to the Holy Spirit for help in such situations as well as to the Cross, Name and Blood of Jesus Christ. It is in Jesus alone that victory can ultimately be attained!
Whether you can definitely determine that witchcraft or any form of cursing or evil is partly or fully responsible for your friend’s illness or not, I would suggest going to a priest (I assume that your friend is a Catholic) and asking him to say a prayer of deliverance from the evil that is oppressing your friend’s life.
This authority rests in the victory Jesus has won for us over sin by shedding His blood for us on the Cross.
It is important that your friend should believe in Jesus for this to be truly effective in her life. She must be willing to submit her life to Jesus and allow Him to free her from any work of evil that may be affecting her.
God bless,
Cindy
Adoption secret
Dear Dra. Dana
I like your column. It’s very helpful and it gives lots of tips on different topics.
My problem is about my family secret. Actually, it’s not so much a secret because everyone in the family knows about it except our youngest. You see it’s about her.
Let me first start by giving you a background on my family. I’m the eldest of the three children, two girls (25 and 14) and a boy (21).
Our big secret, doctora, is that my sister is adopted. My mother has a distant cousin in the province who had a child out of wedlock and couldn’t keep the baby. So my mom decided to keep her instead with my father’s consent.
Mom was there when my sister was born in the community hospital and since it was a small town she was able to get them to list down my parents’ name in the birth certificate.
At that time, I was already old enough to understand what was going on, so my parents explained the whole situation to me.
A few years later, when she was a little older, my brother was told about it. For both of us it was no big deal. We’ve always treated our sister as one of us, and this didn’t change the real story.
But now our sister is beginning to ask questions. She keeps asking why she doesn’t look like any of us. My brother and I have chinita (almond-shape) eyes just like my mom, but she doesn’t.
We all have above-average height. I’m 5’6” and my brother’s 5’7” but she’s only 5’2”.
In the past we used to say that when she gets her period, meaning when she would enter the adolescence stage, she would start to shoot up. But when she got it last year and nothing spectacular happened to her height, she became frustrated.
Now, she’s very sensitive about things that make her different. If we happened to tease her about her being different, she would suddenly cry, even though we are just joking.
My mother has planned to tell her the truth sooner or later, but now she’s having second thoughts. She’s not sure how my sister will react once she finds out.
Do you think we should still tell her that she’s adopted? After all, her birth certificate says that she’s the natural born child of my parents, so we can claim that to be true. But if we do tell her what should we do?
Trisha
Dear Trisha,
I’ve always felt that the best time to explain to a child that she or he is adopted is when that a child is still small; meaning, about seven or eight years old.
At this stage, they’re very open to new things, with all the innocence and idealism of their young age, and without the jadedness and cynicism that comes later in life. If someone, particularly respected authority figure like a parent or teacher, tells them something they tend to accept without question, given that it’s coming from a person hey view as their protector.
If that information is as potentially life-altering as the fact that they’re adopted, all the more reason why it’s best that they’re told when they’re most respective to such information, and when the source is someone they absolutely trust.
But you say that your sister is already 14, so she’s past that ideal stage. The concern right now is that she’s going through the very fragile phase in life called adolescence.
At this time in her life, she’s very sensitive about the changes going on within her, be physical or emotional. As you mentioned, she’s very touchy about certain subjects that only a few years ago wouldn’t have mattered very much. It’s all part of the psychological make-up of the adolescent, and there’s nothing you can do about it.
So your question is: do you tell her that she’s adopted? My answer is a resounding yes.
There is no doubt in mind that this is the right to do. She’s entitled to the truth about who she is. The fact that her siblings know makes it even more imperative that she be told the truth.
Try to observe her in the next few weeks and months. Is she taking the matter of her being different too seriously? Does she seem preoccupied about it? If so, then it’s best that you tell her away, to settle her anxieties about it.
You can also discuss about the topic of adoption. Without being obvious about it, try to get her view on the subject. This way, you’ll have a basic idea what to say when the time comes to tell her.
When that moment comes, it should be a one-on-one discussion between her and the person telling her, ideally it should be
your mother, but the main thing to consider is your sister’s feelings.
If you think she’ll be more comfortable hearing it from you, then by all means you can do it. The other members of the family should be nearby as a gesture of solidarity in the family. But being all present in the room when she’s told might seem to her like you’re ganging up on her, so I don’t suggest it.
The ideal setting will be your mother and her in the room, with the rest at home at the time. That way, you can show that you’re there for her, without intruding into her personal space.
Very truly yours,
Dr. Dana R. Sesante
Dana Ruiz-Sesante, M.D. owns and operates Ruiz Derma & Spa which offers a wide variety of beauty services. There are branches at SM City Cebu Ayala Center, SM-Cebu and other locations.Cynthia Ruiz-Garaña, RN, supervises Ruiz Beauty and Healthcare Training Institute located at 132 Don Mariano Cui St., Capitol Site, Cebu City. E-mail them at ruizderma@yahoo.com
