Sunday, August 24, 2008 Singlestalk: Game over By Darwin John Moises and Michelle Mendez-Palmares Singlestalk
M: The relationship has ended. It’s over and done and yet the feelings often remain well after the goodbyes. Breakups can be devastating and life changing, especially if the relationship was long term. So how do you get over someone who’s once been a very important part of your life?
Some people find that destroying every piece of evidence that the relationship ever existed allows them to break free. This may include burning or throwing away every picture of the other person, getting rid of any gift that the other person gave you and deleting their phone number from your cell phone. In short, erasing the person from your life history.
DJ: I’m not really as insensitive as the person who cracks open a Tupperware of Durian inside an elevator. I’ve got feelings, too! I understand that breaking up can be hard. But if one has thought about the sterile condition long enough, why not finally confront the real situation? Love is not always the main reason why people hang on to a relationship.
At times, they just mistake being scared or desperate with being earnest. Okay. Give a person the benefit of the doubt.
Maybe he or she has a phobia of human contact. Maybe his or her mother did not love him or her enough. But come on.
Maybe he or she is really obnoxious. Maybe he or she is really pressing the “close” button. Maybe it is really time to say “bye-bye!”
M: One method of getting over a broken heart is changing your appearance. Altering the way you look can make you feel like a totally new person.
A new haircut, losing weight (especially for women), getting a makeover or buying new clothes can revitalize a broken heart and a bruised ego. For a male friend, going to the gym to sweat out his anger and his pain helped him to move on. Aside from getting his physique back to fine form, he is finding solace in the thought that he is getting stronger, leaner and healthier.
DJ: Wow. I never realized a new hairstyle can confer an added significance! But seriously, life has its share of pains. It’s better to find strength within to seek for solutions that often require sacrifice and thought. Men are generally more flexible when it comes to strategizing how an old game should be played.
It can be simple. Like figuring the culprit who released “sinful air” inside an elevator when there’s just the two of you sharing the ride. It can also be complicated. Like when there’s three or more of you inside the little box. But then again, one still has a choice. Smell it and deal with it. Or have an out-of-the-box experience like taking the stairs!
M: Perhaps the most therapeutic way of moving on is surrounding oneself with good friends. If you’re by your lonesome and still wallowing in self-pity, get in touch with people that you haven’t seen in a while. Make plans with your best friends, meet new friends. Friends always help you remember who you are as an individual instead of who you were as part of a couple.
If you share common friends with your ex and it still hurts you to see them.
Then why not try hanging out with your ex’s enemies! Seriously, no matter how you choose to get over the relationship, the important thing is that you don’t let go of the good memories that existed and that you don’t become embittered by the experience. Forgive your ex. Forgive yourself. Move on. Get a life. Live life and love again.
DJ: Yup. And don’t forget that the pain also enhances the great experiences that come afterwards. Sing along with your iPod in full shriek if you must just to rid it all out. Who’s gonna stop you? But never lose sight of your purpose and value in life. Our spiritual strength is what will save us from seeking for the easy answers. Besides, there are other living, breathing human beings inside the box, riding the vertical rails with you. And they are truly grateful and blessed to have you around. So even if your heart is aching, smile! Imperfect. Yes. But it’s still a wonderful world.
