Sunday, August 31, 2008 Luab: The Prince Charming in our lives By Evelyn R. Luab light sunday
MANY of us dream of meeting the Prince Charming of our lives and a good number of us do.
However, a greater number of us make do with who we meet along the road of life without even thinking of a Prince Charming. And we have gotten pleasantly surprised.
The reason I’m talking today of prince charming is because many of our young girls have certain standards, whims, wishes to go by in looking for a mate.
In a joke, they talk about the 3 M’s: “Matanda, mayaman at madaling mamatay”(old, rich and just about ready to die). The problem with this is that most of the time they are left with an old man, whose riches did not last the length of his life.
They get left with a cranky, sickly grouch who keeps on reminding them how fortunate they were to have enjoyed his opulence while it was there.
Some say all they need is a man with “car-act-ter.” They mention a plushy car like a BMW or a Lexus. They talk of a man of action, even a hustler will do, and also terrific in looks. Many girls wake up to find the car gone, the hustler in trouble and the handsome looks gone with age.
Whatever happened to the criteria set by Nanay (Mom) of old? All our mother’s wishes for us were men who are hardworking, basically God-fearing and who would be true to one woman for the rest of his life. Was that so bad?
I remember laughing at what my mother said to me at one time in my youth. “Sige lang og butihon (pockmarks) basta panggaon ug pakan-on ka (he tenderly treasure you and would feed you).”
My answer then in jest was: “Ayaw lang nang butihon, Mommy.” (Please, don’t give me a man marred by pockmarks!) I guess that was a very normal reaction of a young one. Who wouldn’t be enamored by a Brad Pitt, a Piolo Pascual or a John Lloyd? Even matrons of age will take that second glance. However, dear young ladies, can you imagine the number of girls who will take that second glance or even a third glance while he is married to you?
Seriously now, I just came from a leadership training of sorts where my audience composed young college students. When we were doing our last session and there was still time left during the open forum, questions about “meeting and keeping the right person for the rest of one’s life” came up.
My answer then and even now will always be the same. Pray for guidance. Use your head. Respect yourself. Don’t jump into a marriage. Go out with your suitor in groups. Observe him at outings.
A man’s real self always comes out in unguarded moments. Know his weaknesses. No one is perfect. Then ask yourself: Do I love him enough to spend the rest of my life with him in spite of his failings? If you do, then marry him.
Marriage, however, does not work by itself. It has to be nurtured with so much love, so much patience and so much giving from both partners.
As long as God is the center of your lives, your marriage will last. There may be temptations along the way. However, never make yourselves available or open to these temptations. All married couples feel these attractions at one time or another. However, one can always say “no.” Believe me, you can!
Every spouse knows when he or she is doing wrong.
His conscience will tell him where he has gone wrong. It is easy to rationalize and enjoy moments that are stolen but in the final analysis, it’s the lasting marriages which bring fulfillment, peace and contentment when the tender years slip away.
I may be a bit old-fashioned (understatement of the year). However, one only has to observe men who hold the shoulders of their wives as they approach Christ in Holy Communion, or watch old couples walk hand in hand in malls to know that marriages do last and spouses can be faithful!
