Sunday, September 07, 2008 Luab: 'Message in a bottle' By Evelyn R. Luab light sunday
I SAW again on DVD the movie Message in a bottle. The first time I saw it, Rod my husband was still alive. We considered it then a good movie because the plot was different, because the photography was good and because Paul Newman, in spite of his age, was still as sex appealing as he was in his younger years.
We also applauded the acting of the main actors and of Robin Wright Penn, the actress.
The second time I saw it, Rod was no longer with me and the movingly tender tale of how a man completely and purely loved his wife touched me to the core.
Today, the cynics say that kind of total love for one person no longer exists. Not true! Those who have seen the movie Message in a bottle know what I am talking about. For those who haven’t seen the movie, do get a DVD original and watch it.
Love focused on just one woman or on just one man does not come by easily in our times. Why? For the rich, the distraction of having so much money at play can be the cause of doing separately so many things. Because of the so many activities, both mates forget that life is so short and that one can miss out on so many fulfilling happenings.
For the poor, who are so busy trying to survive and trying to look for food, many of them forget that their mates are not only finders of food, but persons as well.
The first time, I was privileged to watch real love between two adult persons of good standing in our community was when Rod and I attended a meeting.
There were about 40 of us. The couple were both doctors and in their late forties. What struck me after the meeting was the sight of these two people each talking with their own group of friends.
At one point the lady doctor expressed her views on a certain topic rather strongly. I saw the husband stop talking to his friends, raise his glass of wine in her direction and I felt honored to see the pride and love in his eyes as he looked at her.
When I commented about what I saw to Rod then, he smiled at me and said, “Yes! They are a beautiful couple!”
At another time, I attended a seminar at University of the Philippines high school. A co-teacher was giving a demonstration class in communication arts. Her husband, an insurance man, stood by my side at the back of the room as we listened to her. At the end of her class he gave her a thumbs up sign and then quietly left the room.
My friend told me later on that she treasured that thumbs up sign more than the applause she got.
In two months and three days time, my family will be attending mass for the second death anniversary of our beloved Rod.
The gift of loving only one man, totally, completely, his strengths and weaknesses, his good times and bad times, without expecting anything in return, is a grace from above. One does not enter marriage with the thought that “if I give this much, I will get also so much.” One just gives and loves.
Because I am a writer of many years now, my nose easily picks up that love. I hear it in the voice of a husband when he introduces his wife. So much can be gleaned from his tone when he says, “This is my wife, Cristina.”
I see it in the way a man puts his hand at the back of his wife as he guides her between cars, as they weave in and out of traffic to reach their own car.
I even hear it when a husband talks this way to his friend: “Boss, you’ve got to give money to your wife. You have to trust her! Me? I guess I would be bereft if my wife would leave me. I give her everything!”
Love is a lot of giving and even without expecting anything, receiving so much in return.
