Thursday, September 25, 2008 So: Watch out for the table napkin By Michelle P. So Caught in the Net
THE best way to curb your appetite is to dine with heads of state (HOS) and ambassadors.
The protocol is so stringent you wouldn’t want to go near these people. But unless you yourself are a VVIP (very, very important person), you wouldn’t be having dinner with them anyway.
We will not rule out your chance of dining with an HOS. If you do get it, you’ll know that you’re not supposed to eat until the host or guest of honor takes the first bite or that you’re supposed to say no when offered a second serving no matter how hungry you still are. See what I mean in my first paragraph?
Cebu journalists were briefed on the customs and regulations of dealing with diplomatic formality, precedence and etiquette by Yna Yulo, a protocol consultant for the Department of Foreign Affairs (DFA) last Tuesday at the MBF Cebu Press Center.
The two-hour briefing, one of the many activities this Cebu Press Freedom Week, was informative and revealed how ignorant many of us journalists and the rest of the audience are about napkin use and conversations with an HOS or an ambassador.
Yulo presented bullets of what-to-dos and what-not-to-dos when you find yourself in the company of men and women in power and royalty. When meeting a head of state or a foreign dignitary, journalists are less intimidated by their presence than by protocol during formal occasions. Unlike dignitaries, we journalists lead unstructured lives and grab lunch or dinner at the carenderia between paydays. On paydays, we order fastfood takeouts.
I don’t have statistics on the occasions a community journalist gets seated with the President or an HOS but I know that many of us try to get out of this table situation unless it’s a press conference. We’re not good at small talk.
But Yulo said initiating a conversation with an HOS or a dignitary is a no-no.
You don’t speak unless you’re addressed to. At least this gets you off the pressure of saying something that is remotely interesting to your VIP seatmate like whether he prefers Crocs to Havaianas. If he ignores you or is oblivious to your coiffured presence, take it as a chance to pick your nose or teeth but remember that etiquette calls for you to do it under the cover of the table napkin but please not the table cloth.
Speaking of table napkin, remember this too: When the host or guest of honor puts his napkin on the table, it signals that dinner is done. So put down the spoon or fork and don’t gobble the food. Don’t ask the waiter to wrap the leftover for take-home.
Yulo shared an anecdote about how some women of royalty use this dinner etiquette to spite someone at the table. If they are hosting the dinner, they abruptly put down their napkin (tip: put it on the left side of your plate and don’t fold it back) to signal that dinner is done even if it’s still the salads. Women are smart noh?
We community journalists rarely have the occasion to dine with HOS. When Philippine Ambassador to India Frank Benedicto invited us to lunch before he left for his post in New Delhi a few weeks back, he dispensed with formalities and had us enjoy the food. I didn’t see him put his table napkin on the table.
I think I’ll enjoy the company of Ambassador Benedicto.
