Sunday, November 02, 2008 Women's World: Loyalty check-ups By Dr. Dana Ruiz-Sesante & Cindy Ruiz Garaña, R.N. Women's World
DEAR Cindy,
I’ve been going steady with my girlfriend for a year now. I really love her because she brings out the best in me. But lately I have observed that she is always monitoring my whereabouts almost 24/7.
Right now we go to the same school, so we get to see each other everyday.
My only concern is that when I’m not with her, she’s always asking what I am doing and whom I’m with. Sometimes I become irritated because she’s being intrusive and I feel as if I’m being strangled.
How will I convince her that she’s the only one for me? That I’m proud to be loyal to her?
Jeicel
Dear Jeicel,
Loyalty check is not only confined to realms of the military and the government. It can also be applied in matters pertaining to the heart. For loyalty is the ultimate yardstick of one’s person love to another.
There should be openness in everything that you do. Let her keep track of your whereabouts, your activities, your circle of friends and your major decisions. This would eliminate the possibility of misplaced suspicions creeping in. Just do not let her go overboard so that you will not feel as if you are being strangled in your relationship.
Loyalty check therefore, is inevitable, if not, necessary. Doing it, or letting it done to you, reveals where your romantic ventures stand. It raises the level of trust between the partners. It checks and balances all the elements needed to ensure stability and security in your romantic endeavor.
Of course, you should not be offended when you’re subjected to it. As long as both of you are equally confident about how faithful you are to one another, it’s not going to be a destructive undertaking. When there’s nothing to hide, there would be no problem letting each of you make a casual loyalty check from time to time.
This is not about relenting to suspicions or satisfying your possessive line of thinking. Rather, it’s about satisfying the urge to know that you exclusively belong to one another. If your mutual trust is constant, then letting her ask questions about your feelings and vice versa shouldn’t become an issue.
