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Wednesday, September 10, 2003
Antalan: Humor in politics
By Roger P. Antalan
EVERYDAY, the front page of the national newspapers and primetime TV are full of depressing bad news. The reason often given is that there is "too much politicking." Many skeletons are stumbling out of the presidentiables' closets, it's like Friday the 13th.
The nation, the economy, and the peso are taking a bad beating because of these horror stories. The people in general are frustrated and agitated. This is not funny anymore.
And yet, if one attends parties, or reads the text messages, there is so much humor going around about the political situation. Perhaps this is the Filipino way of coping with all the recent disinformation or political mudslinging.
For the moment, let's forget the heavy and dark humor at the Senate and congressional floors. Personally, I don't particularly enjoy horror movies.
To ease the tension, let's have some fun with the lighter side of politics.
* Let's start with the story of the be-medalled police general. After retirement, he threw his hat into the political ring. During a rally, his over eager drumbeater extolled him to high heavens, relating his past heroic exploits and how he had trained in the best military schools here and abroad. And finally with great flourish, the general was presented: "And now here is - our very distinguished candidate, a well-known police character!"
* The former Senator, Miriam Defensor, is known for her great wit and equally sharp tongue. But she can also tickle her audience. She was a guest speaker once during a joint meeting of 23 Rotary Clubs in Manila. She started by telling the big audience, in her inimitable English, "I love Rotarians. They are so like my husband. My husband does not smoke nor drink. He does not gamble. He does not womanize. He only tells lies." It brought the house down.
* Politicians really value the title: Honorable. A barangay councilor was so angry when he was not introduced as the Honorable so-and-so. He slapped the erring introducer. Now that barangay official is in danger of being dishonorably suspended from office.
* A politician was so profusely described by the emcee. When he rose to take the podium, the politician said: "I'm speechless." Then he proceeded to speak for more than an hour.
* It is dangerous to flatter a politician that he is brilliant. This happened once, and the "brilliant" politician spoke for an hour on a subject he did not know.
* Do you want to enter politics? You and your family must have a strong stomach and be ready for character assassinations. Veteran politicians are not spared from below-the-belt attacks. A re-electionist mayor was once falsely accused of having three wives. The children were shocked and got mad. But the mayor's wife promptly dismissed the charge by saying: "Three wives? Ubo nalang and gahi ni Mayor." The mayor did not like the answer but a good sense of humor can kill rumors.
* It is also not advisable to be so honest. An old-type politician, who never lost in an election, tried to run again after retirement. In one of his comeback speeches, he tried to be very candid: "They say I've been mayor for 20 years. That's true. They also say I've done nothing during those years. That's also true." He finally lost. No need to campaign against a guy like that.
There is but few laughter in politics. It is often said that politics is entertainment. The politician therefore must learn to roll with the punches and take things with a smile. He must, as a good entertainer, learn to laugh at himself.
He can even have the last laugh. As the saying goes: "Smile. It makes people wonder what you're up to."
(September 10, 2003 issue)
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