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Saturday, March 13, 2004
Excuse letters
By Rene Lizada
Papas Table
(I would like to thank Dennis my cousin for sending this email to me. I really had a lot of fun. The comments in parentheses are mine. Enjoy!) The misspellings are part of the fun!
"Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot." (I see. So for what we know is either Lisa is a dog or boy! We sure are glad that we do not have parents like Lisa's!)
"Dear School: Please ekscuse John being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and also 33." (Wow they must have a very long year! And that's only for January!)
"Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating." (Excuse Gloria from Jim? Hmm what kind of school do they run anyway? And she is administrating? Hmmmm. You know how some administrators are, they really bleed you!)
"Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip." (Grabe ha! That must have been quite a fall. I mean falling from a tree is painful enough but misplacing your hip? And with what?)
"John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face." (You mean to say that his face is his mouth? What kind of face does he have anyway? Or is he a living example of putting your money where your mouth is!))
"Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins." (Wow, what about that! Very close veins! Are they intimate?)
"Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels." (As in aaayyth, eeeeeth, eyeeee, ooohhhh, youuuuuuth!)
"Please excuse Pedro from being absent yesterday. He had (diahre) (dyrea)(direathe)." (And by the way the spelling is diar.. er diea..LBM na lang kasi! Or sa bisaya pa nag i***!)
"Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust." (Either Irving is so forgetful or he is not what he claims to be!)
"Sally wont be in school a week from Friday. We have to attend her funeral." (I guess going to school is difficult if you are dead.)
"Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well." (Wow! So Jason must be some kind of rabbit huh! Some guys are so lucky!)
"Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover." (People with Gloria names are so surprising! And a gangover pa!)
"Maryann was absent December 11-16, because she had a fever, sore throat, headache and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever and sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasnt the best either, sore throat and fever. There must be something going around, her father even got hot last night." (Yeah there must be really something wrong!)
"Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it Monday, we thought it was Sunday." (Wait a minute! Today's Saturday!)
(March 13, 2004 issue)
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