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Saturday, March 13, 2004
More sign language
By Jojie Alcantara
Witerary
AS SOON as my article "Sign Language" was published, I received a barrage of text messages and calls, asking for either a follow up, a copy of the issue (which I myself didn't have), or suggestions as to where I can find more unintentionally humorous signs for which I collect obsessively. One just called to laugh on my cell.
If it wasn't hazardous to run after jeepneys I'd be taking pics of signs attached behind them too. If it isn't "Katas ng Saudi", it is "Katas ng Japayuki", referring to blood, sweat and tears earned to buy these vehicles.
And whoever has not heard of this jeepney mantra since I was small: "God Knows HUDAS Not Pay"? However, there are more horrendous statements that are glorious to capture! Soon you will see me risking my life chasing after these moving signs on the streets.
From callers, here are gems: Otek says there's a sign on the wall of a urinal at eye level inside Ecoland Terminal's male CR -- "Project of the Sangguniang
Panglunod".
In a Bankerohan market, "Please Come In. We are Close-Open Mon-Sun," an idea for those who are impatient with space and time.
Gates are haven for bold signs like these: "PLEASE DON'T BLACK", "Beaware of Dogs" and along Matina road, "Beware of High Blood Dog"! That's a brilliant idea to ward off robbers.
Edith Caduaya texted a sign in the highway going to Malaybalay, Bukidnon: "DANGER: Killing Curve".
By now, we all know that "Hurry Cutter" is a barber shop along Matina and "Kini Rogers" is a popular eatery. Did you know that James Tailor was a tailoring shop in Obrero? "Obladi Oblada" is a store in GSIS, and Quacknet and Bill Gets are internet cafes.
Nothing beats cherished photos of humorous Filipino ingenuity. Take the bakery called "Monay Lisa" or the aircon repair shop "Frigid Zone" in Manila. It isn't as fun till you see its actual location and know that it's for real, and someone did think about it.
When I traveled to Cagayan via the once lonely Buda road, on one small hilltop sat a tiny dilapidated shack with a big sign that says "Sira Sira Store". I really did a double take. Until now am still wondering if my eyes played tricks on me. Sadly, it was my pre-digicam days, and I ran out of film.
Funny signs make you ponder a lot. "Manok for Sales" in Wao, Lanao del Sur. "Stainless Craft: We accept made to order RETINER (Bres sa Ngipon)" in General Santos City; "This Way to Sopsopon", a municipality in Oriental which makes you think it may be gay-infested; the product label "Cool Stop Itch" is actually a Japanese shampoo.
A Korean Dive Shop in Boracay completely beckons: "Scuba Diving Shop. Dive Now. Ok? Ok!". Note the multi-tasking jobs in signs I've taken in Iloilo: "Maylord 2000 Tailoring (We accept typing jobs)" and "Banga Public Market (Manicure and Pedicure)". It definitely leaves you with a big "Huh?" on your mind.
A sign on a cliff from our very own Davao International Airport back when it was still under construction, proudly warned: "CAUTION: STIFF SLOPE (BANGIN)". Sadly, they took it out already.
Those who want to join me in my quest for perfect signs of our times, email (witty@info.com.ph), or text me your delightful discoveries and check my website (www.witerary.com) for updates on pictures you've sent (credited to you, of course).
To reader Rose Bridget M. Rubi, I will update my website before Araw ng Dabaw, promise. Let me end this article with hands down winner sent by Deng Fuentes.
(March 13, 2004 issue)
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