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Tuesday, June 01, 2004
Subject is marriage
By Henrylito D. Tacio
MARRIAGE is the union between man and woman for the purpose of cohabitation and usually also for raising children.
Most marriages are at least intended to last for life, but most societies - particularly in the Western world - have some provision for divorce, ranging from the easy to the almost impossible.
The modern trend is towards monogamy, union between one man and one woman only. Many societies still permit polygamy, but it is increasingly rare, even among Muslims.
Forms of group and communal marriage have been tried from time to time, though with little success or social acceptance.
Marriage is in some senses a contract, often involving property and in some societies a dowry or a bride-price.
But what does marriage mean to some people, particularly the rich and the famous?
American short story writer and satirical journalist Ambrose Bierce defines marriage in these words: "The state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two."
American editor and drama critic George Jean Nathan based marriage on the theory "that when a man discovers a brand of beer exactly to his taste he should once throw up his job and go to work in the brewery."
To the 16th American president Abraham Lincoln, marriage "is neither heaven nor hell; it is simply purgatory." He may be talking based on his experience as he married Mary Todd, the daughter of a socially prominent Kentucky family. They have four children: Robert, Edward, William, and Thomas.
Getting hitched is forever. "Take it from me," says King Vidor, "marriage isn't a word - it's a sentence." Life sentence, that is.
Irish wit and playwright Oscar Wilde, who was never married, noted: "The only charm of marriage is that it makes a life of deception necessary for both parties."
Should you get married? Four-time Oscar winner Katharine Hepburn advises, "If you want to sacrifice the admiration of many men for the criticism of one, go ahead, get married." No wonder, she never married Spencer Tracy, the greatest love of her life.
If you want to become a philosopher, try getting married. Greek philosopher declared: "By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher." American journalist Henry L. Mencken contends, "A man may be a fool and not know it - but not if he is married."
More often than not, sex is always a part of marriage. Listen to the words of Hollywood film star Elizabeth Taylor, who has been married seven times: "I've only slept (meaning having sex) with the men I've been married to. How many women can make that claim?"
"Sex when you're married is like going to a 7-Eleven," observes Carol Leifer. "There's not as much variety, but at three in the morning, it's always there." Peter De Vries agrees: "Sex in marriage is like medicine. Three times a day for the first week. Then once a day for another week. Then once every three or four days until the condition clears up."
If one talks about marriage, can divorce be far behind? "The happiest time of anyone's life is just after the first divorce," says John Kenneth Galbraith. Johnny Carson seems to have the same view when he opined, "Married men live longer than single men. But married men are a lot more willing to die."
Before only very few know that Heinrich Heine bequeathed his estate to his wife on the condition that she marry again, because, according to Heine, "There will be at least one man who will regret my death."
(June 1, 2004 issue)
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