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Wednesday, September 22, 2004
Light beyond sorrow
By Rene Lizada
Papa's Table
"No one after lighting a lamp hides it under a jar, or puts it under a bed, but puts it on a lamp stand, so that those who enter may see the light."--Luke 8:16
Beyond the sorrow, beyond the sadness, there was gratitude. Past the grief, past the loneliness, there was thanksgiving. In fact there was even a celebration.
During the funeral mass of Mama Nograles something wonderful happened. Most of the people I saw where weeping openly. They were sad tears but they were also grateful tears. Perhaps even proud tears shed for a woman who in her quiet and gentle way touched the lives of so many people.
Mama Nograles was in that mass. I could sense the love and the joy of her soul at the Carmelite church on that Saturday morning. She was there, perhaps looking at all of her eight children and nineteen grandchildren. As I sat there I saw her children grieving in their own way, lost in their sadness, oblivious to what was around them. Some were in tears. Others were staring in space. I looked at Chona and she was crying quietly while staring the casket of Mama. I looked at our three children and they too were weeping. All of us were crying. All of us bound by our sadness but also strengthened by the grace of this truly remarkable woman.
Even if there was sadness on that day, I knew at least for me that there was thanksgiving for the woman who gave everything for her children. And her children knew what she did for them. As Cynthia said in her eulogy, " help was always there when it was needed." And I saw that personally so many times. She was always there for us. When we stayed with her for many years she would always drop by our room and give us something, anything. It could be a bar of chocolate for the kids, something she saw at a store. When her youngest brother who usually came home from the States during Christmas brought chocolates, she would never eat them but rather she would save them all for our children. She would come up to them with her twinkling eyes and tender smile and hand out the chocolates. They were small gestures but they revealed a lot. The children's birthdays, their programs, their parties, Mama Nograles was there. When we were busy with work she volunteered to pick up the kids and I know that my children have this memory of their Lola. And a lot of memories still are in our minds of Mama Nograles.
I still have her key chain. One day out of the blue she comes up to me and gives me the image of Sacred Heart of Jesus. I do not know why she gave that, but up to now, it is still with me. One time the image peeled off from its locket and I knew that I had to fix it. And I did. The key chain is still with me.
During the funeral mass I craned my neck to look at the people who came and I was not at all surprised at the crowd. It was like Sunday Mass. Who knows? Perhaps it was really a Sunday Mass. Her Tertiary friends were there. The "old Davao" people were present: relatives, friends, nuns, priests, nieces, cousins, nephews, the rich, the poor and a whole lot more. A testimony to the life of Mama Nograles.
As I sat there watching the family I looked at casket in which she lay and the thought of grace and gratitude came. She touched my life in so many ways and in so many moments. This was how I felt, a son-in-law. I wonder how the real children felt. I again turned to Chona and I knew that in her heart, she felt love and gratitude. And so did our children.
Towards the event of the service, people flocked to the front to have their final view of Mama. Most of her children stood at the sides and when the people came forward to look at her, tears fell. And as the people turned they hugged and embraced the children of Tentay. There was silent crying and proud tears. There was a lifting of spirits and sadness. It was like a silent miracle. In the midst of all the sadness there was a reason for celebration, the celebration of Mama Nograles.
Beyond the sorrow, beyond the sadness, there was gratitude. Past the grief, past the loneliness, there was thanksgiving. I will miss Mama but I know she is happy. She will always be a light to me.
(September 22, 2004 issue)
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