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Monday, February 14, 2005
Oledan: Redefining maleness
By Radzini Oledan
Slice of life
"Men have to actively challenge what they have learned about what is masculine and what it means to be "one of the guys" and replace this masculinity with a positive, less threatening image of a man."
WHAT makes a man? Our society expects men to avoid acting in ways that could be seen as feminine such as expressing emotions and allowing themselves to be truly human. As such, men wear masks everyday to show that they are "in control," to emphasize their power and status and to act tough and unemotional.
These expectations of masculinity are reproduced through the media, role models and daily behavior among peers and men who act in a way that is deviant from this norm are threatened with the labels "gay" or "nerd."
Most men try to conform to these "ideals" and avoid showing emotions or weaknesses labeled as "sissy stuff" or indulge in 'un-masculine' sports.
In this sense, men feel pressure to perform as men. Either they have internalized these norms and do not feel comfortable with anything that threatens their identity or masculinity or they conform because they fear peer pressure and sanctions, such as isolation and teasing.
The relationship between men and women provide a sphere for the enactment and confirmation of these traditional gender-role expectations, which assign men the role of the aggressor and women the role of gatekeeper of sexual intimacy.
As such, aggression and violence remain the status quo in our society where women who take the initiative remain the exception.
Consider the cases of sexual and domestic violence perpetrated against women and children even in the confines of their own homes.
The Davao-based Womynet Group reported that rape, incest, child abuse and domestic violence against women have increased in the community level. Six out of 10 women have also experienced physical abuse by their partners.
The cases of domestic and sexual violence reflect the strain of masculinity. However, there are now efforts to redefine maleness and the initiative comes from the men themselves.
This shift encourages men to critically question their own behavior as well as that of other men for ultimately, men have to take responsibility for their masculinity.
The challenge is for men to engage in a dialogue that brings together male experience and a critique of masculinity as it is constructed now. We ask men to move through their problematic socialized masculinity, to their actual, lived experience and to humanist, not a masculinist, ethics.
Men have to actively challenge what they have learned about what is masculine and what it means to be "one of the guys" and replace this masculinity with a positive, less threatening image of a man. They may be hurting and bleeding inside too.
For Bisaya stories from Davao. Click here.
(February 14, 2005 issue)
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