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Tuesday, February 15, 2005
So: 'What would Diana say?'
By Jocy L. So
Unraveling
"...when she passed away in Paris, I cried for a woman I only know through magazines and tabloid articles as if she was a childhood friend or a big sister whom I looked up to."
WHAT would Diana say?
Thus was the blaring reaction of a British tabloid regarding the upcoming wedding of Prince Charles, heir to the throne and former husband to the beloved Princess of Wales, to Camilla Parker Bowles, the other woman who is blamed by many to have wrecked the illusion of a fairy tale royal marriage between the Waleses.
Before Diana died in 1997, I was one of the many who swooned over her life. I pored over magazines featuring her, marveled at her fashion sense and dazzling smile, applauded her philanthropic acts, and dreamed of being a princess. When her marriage fell apart, it was clear to me, as it was so as well to millions all over the world, that it was the husband and his frumpy mistress who were to blame. And when she passed away in Paris, I cried for a woman I only know through magazines and tabloid articles as if she was a childhood friend or a big sister whom I looked up to.
I wanted her fairy tale, and when reality showed that her story was not a romance, but a tragedy, I couldn't help but feel disappointed and a tad sorry for her.
Nevertheless, there might be another fairy tale with a fairy tale wedding looming. Although this one is not with innumerable white flowers, an elaborate Cinderella-esque royal carriage, a virginal white dress sown in secrecy, and millions of people clapping and celebrating the royal couple's special day. This one will not have the glow of a young pair in the cusp of their bold new life.
Instead this tale will be between a middle-aged couple, both of whom have gone through marriages with other people that fell apart, public criticisms and condemnation about their relationship, and years of betrayal, stress, concealment, and yearning. The groom will be gray on the temples, his face lined. The bride will have skin that sag, hands with veins and spots. There won't be a grand cathedral for this wedding, no overwhelming media coverage, no ostentatious parade. It will be a simple civil ceremony. No fuss.
In all appearances, this wedding between Charles and Camilla hardly merits a paragraph in a book of fairy tales. They're not young or beautiful. But then, though they are not Brad and Jen, their story, in all its twists and turns, may fit the fairy tale mode. After all, real fairy tales from that of Snow White to Beauty and the Beast are not peaches and cream stories, rather they are filled with trials to overcome, sad experiences, and dark glimpses into the human psyche.
Some may wish that a different kind of love story filled newspaper pages this Valentine weekend. A wedding between the dashing Prince William and a suitable princess may have broken some female hearts but would've been much more romantic than a wedding between the old geezer father and his old geezer girlfriend.
But don't you think the Charles and Camilla story is precisely the kind of love story we all need to read about? That love can be experienced, celebrated, and solemnized at any age. That love cannot be dictated by what other people say or deem suitable for you. That society may point to the many wrongs in your love but sometimes you just have to believe in your right to love and be loved and find joy and peace in that.
This is not to say that Charles and Camilla's relationship should be romanticized. They both did betray their vows to their respective spouses, broken up their families, and made decisions that resulted in bitter and painful consequences. But who are we do judge and condemn? Who are we to say that two people trying to start afresh have no right to do so because of the mistakes they have done in the past?
As much as we would all like to dream, there is no such thing as a perfect love story, an unblemished fairy tale. Charles and Diana probably hoped as much as many of us did that their wedding on July 29, 1981 would be their happily-ever-after. But it wasn't. Theirs was not an annual lovapalooza. Needless to say, Charles and Camilla won't have a happily-ever-after as well, but to go through life in all its trials, heartaches, frustrations, and disappointments with someone who is willing to do so with you, well, I think the only thing Diana would say to that is, "Go for it."
Happy Valentine's Day!
Jocy L. So teaches at Davao Christian High School which is sponsoring the Gary V Hits Davao concert this coming March 16 at the New CYO Gym. Call 227 9727 for more details.
For Bisaya stories from Davao. Click here.
(February 15, 2005 issue)
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