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Friday, February 18, 2005
The answers lie within
By Rene Lizada
Papa's Table
IN THIS season of Lent, it is a good question. Just like the crowds that flocked to John, we ought to ask the question. What should I do? Perhaps the next thing in our minds is what should I do with what?
If we continue to read that verse we will find out that the tax collectors asked him what they should do. And John answered: "He said to them: Collect no more than the amount prescribed for you." That was clear enough. And when the soldiers asked, John replied: "Do not extort money from anyone by threats or false accusation, and be satisfied with your wages." That was crystal clear also.
But the question still remains, what should I do with what? Well, the answer is what should I do to the things that hinder me from God? What should I do to the things that I shall regret? What shall I do to what eats me, disturbs me, cages me, controls me.
It is a question that we all know for we all have our prisons and torments. We all have our weaknesses, desires, frustrations, and shattered dreams. And demons. What do I do with hatred, revenge, lust, greed, anger, envy, insecurity? What do I do with the recurring experiences that are different and yet are the same? What should I do with all these that eat me up? What should I do with the things that scream at me in the midnight of my mind?
Strangely enough, we all know what to do and yet even more strangely, we turn away from all the answers and continually do that which is abhorrent and painful.
For some reason or another we deliberately destroy ourselves. And we ask why? Why indeed? The reasons are as varied as our justifications.
Or maybe we are just too weak, too myopic to move to a higher plane or level. We may be just too contented with our comfort zones or satisfied with the same old recordings in our heads. This is the way that I have always done it and therefore it will always be this way and nothing can change that. And yet if we wish to move on, we must move on. That is the only decent way to live. We cannot stay in one place forever nor can we utter the same words we have uttered ten years ago.
And yet a lot of us live ten years ago. We refuse to let go of our resentments, hurts and failures. We are stuck and we cannot move on because and this is the catch, we choose so. There is no other way to explain our deep-rooted hurts and anger, we simply choose to feel that. Like most things in life, we make choices and live the consequences of them.
Sometime ago I was talking to a priest about my dilemmas and problems. I talked for a long time because I had to unburden myself of a lot of things and he just listened. He would clarify things but in general he would just nod his head and listen.
After I was done he just looked at me and said, "you know Rene, you know what to do." That was all he said and yet the impact of those words were strong. Yes, from the very start I knew what to do and yet because of my weakness and humanity I could not face up to them. And this priest just said it so simply," you know what to do." We all do. The only thing we need to do then is to simply do it.
The eminent Rabbi Hillel once said, "the rest is commentary, now go and study." Such profound words those are. All we need to do is "go and study." We need to go and just do what is necessary and just and truthful. We need to study too, to reflect on what we have done in order to do better. Enough of the justifications and verbosity and shallowness of things, because in truth the rest is truly just commentary. It all is a waste of words, time and even space. It is a waste because of our bickering and complaints, our resentments and insecurity, our envy and hurts.
When the crowds came to John, attracted perhaps by his enigma and unorthodox ways, they sought out the answers that they already knew. John told it the way it was and was therefore admired by the crowds. John did not hide his punches nor his heart. He just told them with all his passion and truth. John was telling them what they already knew. And so do we. We all know what to do.
For Bisaya stories from Davao. Click here.
(February 18, 2005 issue)
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