|
Wednesday, June 22, 2005
Something more
By Rene Lizada
Papa's Table
I JUST had a wonderful experience. As I am writing this article, I just came out of prayer. I have to admit that for the past several weeks, I have been in a drought. I just could not seem to pray. I was empty and troubled and hurt and anxious. And no matter how I tried, my prayers would just fall short of what my prayers were like before.
But in spite of what has been happening, I just kept on praying. Someone told me that one of the best times to pray is when we are not able to pray, when it becomes a burden. So for the past several weeks, I have opened my computer and gone to my prayer site and just sat there and read the reflections of the day. I admit again that they were like bouncing balls. They just hit me but they, like what bouncing balls do, just bounce back. No effect, no feelings, nothing.
Then yesterday, I felt a strange pang in my heart. I knew something was going to happen and I was right, something did. Something disturbing, something discouraging, something really awful. And after the moment passed and I was left alone with myself, I started thinking. My prayer yesterday was still shallow, still superficial. I expected my prayer this morning prior to this article would be the same empty exercise. It started that way I must admit but something happened.
For sometime, I stopped listening to songs while praying. I just sat in the silence and tried to make sense of what was going on. But for this prayer, for some reason, I opened my compilation of spiritual songs. (It is entitled God My Refuge. And it has 23 of my favorite meditative songs.) I let it play in shuffle mode, meaning I let the computer choose the songs and I would just sit there and let the songs come my way.
While sitting there, I was hoping that one particular song would come up because it was the song that I drew strength from. It was one song that made sense for me at this point of my life. But as the songs came, it did not play. But another thing happened. While praying, each song that came along gave me answers that I was seeking for. While sitting there wondering what going to happen to my prayer, I heard the opening bars of Here I am Lord. While I was listening to the song I was asking myself why was I in this situation.
Why I was facing this. Why me. Then out of nowhere, the line leaps, Is it I Lord? I could not help but smile. Prayer answered. Of course the next question one asks after Is it I Lord would be, then why me? The next song comes up and it is Sa Diyos Lang Mapapanatag. If you are not familiar with the song, it speaks about our souls can rest in God. But that is not the thing that amazed me. Here is what astounded me. While writing this, I checked my compilation, the one that I was playing. The song was not in the list.
It just appeared from nowhere and it played.
After the second song I was thinking, ano kaya sunod? My answer came in John Michael Talbot's The Lilies of the Field. The song has this magnificent melody, which triumphantly says "So seek ye first the kingdom of God and the wealth of His righteousness."
When your soul rests in Him, seek Him. Seek the Lord and do not worry about tomorrow. Do no think about what to eat or wear. Talk about hitting the bull's-eye. For sometime I have worried about that.
For sometime I was anxious for what I was facing was evil itself. But in the silence and the lightness of God, the miracles came in ways that took my breath. But the song that I wanted was still not played. And so I decided to stop my prayer because I could hear the rustlings outside the office. I looked at my watch. People were coming in. I went to my table and took out a prayer, which I try to say everyday. It is the Prayer to take Authority. And while I prayed it, the song, the one that I wanted to hear, filled the room. Something More by Lea Salonga. I paused for a moment and I knew that God was there in the room with me.
And I have to say that while I am writing this, the compilation of songs that I am listening to is the exact one which I played while I was praying. And guess what? Now that I am ending this article, Something More is played again. I guess God must be telling me something. We do cannot see what lies beyond but there is always something hidden and if we are brave enough, strong enough, God will show it to us one day, someday. There is always something more.
We just need to have faith, to trust in the Lord. Thank You Lord. We only need to be strong in the face of evil, in the shadow of betrayal. We need to have faith to know that God will see us through. If we face deception, sorrow, pain and discouragement today let us take heart. There is something more. Something beautiful in the darkness. We just need to open our eyes. And listen to the songs of our life.s of our life.
For Bisaya stories from Davao. Click here. (June 22, 2005 issue)
Write letter to the editor.Click here.
Join the Sun.Star message board.Click here. |
|
[return to top]
[home]
[network page]
|
LOCAL NEWS
BUSINESS
OPINION
SPORTS
LIFESTYLE
FEATURE
SUPERBALITA
WEEKEND
|
