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Friday, July 08, 2005
I move
By Rene Lizada
Papa's Table
Setting: The Congress
Characters: CC - Congress Chairman
C 1,2,3,4,5.... Ano pa? Sino pa?
CC: This meeting is now called to order. Our business at hand is to talk about whether we should play the CD or not. The floor is now open for...
C1: Mr. Chair, Mr. Chair
CC: Can't you wait? I am not through talking yet and you butt in. Why can't you allow...
C2: Mr. Chair. Mr. Chair
CC: O isa ka pa, I said can't you wait till I finish? And my family name is not Chair.
C1: Mr. Chair, are you deaf? I asked to be recognized. I demand that I be recognized for the sake of the nation and its people. I believe in our country and its people. We are a great country, a God fearing country, we have so much, we are blessed by so much and we have a history of courage and honor and...
C3: Your honor, you are out of order.
CC: No your honor, you are out of order to call the other honor out of order because in this hearing, only the chair and that is me can only call someone out of order and in this case it is you who are out of order to call the other out of order!
C3: Sorry Mr. Chair. I just wanted to remind my honorable kasama that the whole country is watching us, that the whoooooooole world is watching us, that the honor and dignity of this nation is...
C1: Out of order your honor!
CC: No you are out of order, as I said, only I can call someone out of order and in your calling someone out of order you are hereby out of order!
C4: Mr. Chair, can we now move to the business at hand? We have spent so much time debating. I move that we play the CD.
C5: Are you out of order your honor? Este are you out of your mind pala, your honor? You cannot play that CD here! That is illegal, immoral and indecent. You cannot play the dormitory sex scandal here!
CC: Your honor you are mistaken! That is not the CD in question.
C5: Oh I am sorry I thought...
C6: Panyero, you are out of order!
CC: No! Panyero, you are out of order! How many times do I have to tell you...
C8: Mr. Chair. Mr. Chair...
CC: Your honor were you not listening? Do not interrupt me when I...
C8; You do not understand Mr. Chair. I would like to move...
CC: You cannot make a motion as there is a pending motion on the floor. If you do that, there will be so many motions we might not be able to see the floor anymore!
C8: (Squirming!) No Mr. Chair. I would like to move. I have to go to the comfort room Mr. Chair. Please, pleaaaase. Malapit na!
CC: Oh, go ahead! Your motion is carried. Bilisan mooooo!
CC: So where were we? Ah Yes, there is a motion to play the CD in question. Do I hear.
C9: Mr. Chair I move that we play the CD so as to end speculation as to the contents of the CD.
CC: There is a motion on the table to play the CD. Do I hear a second?
C10: Second, Second, Second!
CC: You are out of honor your order, I mean you are out of order your honor!
C6: I second that emotion oh yeah, I second that emotion!
CC: Your order you are out of honor! Please behave.
CC5: Your honor I object.
CC: Your honor you cannot object because we do still do not have a second.
C6: Mr. Chair, I second that emotion, yeah baby, Me and Mrs Jones second that emotion!
CC: May I remind the honorable honor that we are not here to reminisce about the Seventies!
C6: I am sorry Mr. Chair. I just can't help myself, sugar pie honeybunch!
CC: Please, may we proceed because we have so many things to do yet.
C12: I second the motiooo...
C5: I OBJECT VEHEMENTLY!
CC: Please let him finish. You may procedure, I mean proceed.
C12: I second the emotion, este the motion pala.
C5: Mr. Chair may I now object?
CC: Yes you may now object.
C5: I OBJECT VEHEMENTLY, TRULY, SINCERELY and Bruce Lee!
CC: There is an objection on the floor.
C10: If that is the case I object to the objection your honor.
CC: You cannot do that your honor because the person has not spoken yet. He must speak first so that you may hear his arguments. You cannot object.
C10: Basta. Gusto ko object eh.
CC: Please explain your objection.
C5: My objection Mr. Chair is that this is a highly illegal tape coming from dubious sources. We not know where this comes from, we do not know whether this tape is genuine or fake. We do not even that we are doing is right or ong!
CC: And your point is.
C5: Ambot.
C10: See, Mr. Chair, he does not know what he is talking about. How can he object to something that he does not even understand.
CC: And you do?
C10: Hindi rin your honor.
CC: And your point is.
C10: Ambot pud Mr. Chair.
CC: In that case, we shall have a recess for twenty minutes so that we ..
C15: I object your honor!
For Bisaya stories from Davao. Click here. (July 8, 2005 issue)
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