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Wednesday, August 31, 2005
Desiderata three
By Rene Lizada
Papa's Table
THE dictionary definition of the word vexation is cause of trouble. When you vex someone, you harass or irritate that person. You bring distress by petty provocations. And to me nothing can be more irritating than a loud and aggressive person.
To me, a loud person is someone who constantly draws attention to himself or herself. You know the type.
The one who deliberately enters a party late and then makes traffic as an excuse. The one who likes to think she is humble or quiet but who just cannot help herself. No matter how hard she tries, her real self will come out. She will, with much false humility, talk about so many things about her. She is like a parrot that cannot stop yakking. An alarm bell that does not stop ringing.
This reminds me of a story about two men who were talking. The first one always
talked about himself and he kept peppering his dialogues with "I" this and "I" that. The one listening to him was getting vexed (o ayan!) that he said to the first person, "can you stop talking about yourself for a change." And the first guy said, "Okay, I am sorry. Let us talk about you instead. What do you think of me?"
A proverb says it best, I guess. "Outside noisy, inside empty." Some of the shallowest persons you will meet are loud and obnoxious. They laugh loud, dress loud and are just plain loud. They have to be, otherwise no one will notice them. They find their worth in things rather than in thoughts. They have empty minds with hollow hearts. They seem to be at a loss when confronted with the profound. They are as deep as a coin. They will pretend that they are humble, but soon they will show their true colors.
They cannot help themselves, they just need to flaunt and to have false humility. They think that people admire them but in reality people laugh at them for their triviality. They may have massive houses but they do not have homes. They may have loud gaiety but not joy. Their bellies may be full but their hearts are empty. They may have riches but not wealth.
Aggressive persons are bullies who always want things done their own way. They barge into a room, into a discussion, into lives and insist that they are right. They think they are God's gift to the business, the relationship, to the family. Trouble is people like that are often hollow and shallow.
People who seem to know all the answers have no answers in reality. But you cannot tell them that because they will say that you know nothing because they know it all. One time, I heard someone say, "You know I am ready to die. I can face my God now because I am ready to meet Him." Gee! He must be more saintly than the saints because the saints have accepted their weakness and faults, while this guy proudly proclaims that he is ready to face his God.
But then again let him talk, for people who talk a lot, judge a lot do not really know what they are saying. They are just hiding their fears and their inadequacies. Saint Paul was so scared of his sins that he tried very hard t please God with his works while this guy says that he is ready to die anytime.
It is very easy to be affected by loud and aggressive persons, but we should not. We should not compare ourselves with them because if we do, then we fall into the same trap that they fell in. People who are aggressive and loud draw their worth from what others say of them. They find their meaning in what others
say and what others think of them They draw attention to themselves because no one will pay attention to them. We should never compare ourselves because we are different and we should do what Walt Whitman the poet said, shout our "barbaric yawp" on the rooftops of the world. But let us reserve that for another article about Desiderata.
Let us be grateful that we are what we are and not what our egos want us to be. Let us be grateful that in spite of our problems, we have our dignity and our honor. And that we can stand in the light of our own true selves. And face whatever there is needed to be faced. The obnoxious and the bullies have nothing. In the end, they really have nothing.
For Bisaya stories from Davao. Click here. (August 31, 2005 issue)
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