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Friday, September 23, 2005
Lee: Senate cites wrong Cabinet exec in contempt
By Kelvin King Lee
Babble On
"...politics in our country has gotten so ridiculous that it's hard to figure out what's real and what's not."
THE Senate's newly revamped and renamed Red Ribbon Committee, after being stymied in their attempt during a hearing to get answers from an unhelpful Cabinet official surnamed Gonzales, cited him for contempt.
Senator Dyoker Ayoko, who is the chairman of the Red Ribbon Committee and was responsible for the Committee's name change in honor of a famous Filipino bakery, distributed yummy chocolate cakes and ordered the Committee's Sergeant-at-arms to give out coffee. The Senator then ordered the Sergeant-at-arms to take the Cabinet official into custody.
"We cite him in contempt," said the Senator. "Oh and pass me some of that Black Forest cake."
The Sergeant-at-arms promptly took the Cabinet Official surnamed Gonzales to the Senate Jail. Shortly thereafter, the Senate adjourned for even more coffee and cake, leaving the Cabinet official in the cold confines of the Senate jail.
It took a few hours for the Red Ribbon Committee members to realize that the Sergeant-at-arms had made a mistake and had taken the wrong Cabinet member into custody. This was clear when they saw Cabinet Official in charge of National Security, surnamed Gonzales, giving an interview on television regarding hotel lobbies in America. They also learned that various Justice Department officials were looking for the Justice Secretary, also surnamed Gonzales, who had mysteriously disappeared around the time of the hearing. It was rumored that the Justice Secretary was also present at the hearing.
In an emergency meeting, the Red Ribbon Committee learned that there were actually two Cabinet Officials surnamed Gonzales, and that the wrong one may have been taken into custody.
When asked to comment on the mistake, Red Ribbon Committee members unanimously said: "Oops."
Elsewhere, another Senator and former presidentiable Thing Laxson, refused to talk to American Embassy officials because he was called "cagey" in a confidential American report on Future Filipino Leaders. "I am not a CAGE!" Laxson thundered, before he scampered away to email a Filipino-American friend of his.
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This is a piece of satire. It's my way of saying that politics in our country has gotten so ridiculous that it's hard to figure out what's real and what's not. Frankly I have become exasperated with our country's national politics.
Ironically enough, when I was rereading what I had written above, I could almost believe that it was really happening. And that's the sad thing about our state of affairs.
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I apologize for missing last week's scheduled column. All the pressure to study is taking its toll. It makes one wonder if St. Ignatius de Loyola had ever imagined that he would be indirectly responsible for creating such academic excellence and at the same time, its horrors and pressures in the form of the Ateneo Law School. (Email me at babbleoncolumn@yahoo.com)
For Bisaya stories from Davao. Click here. (September 23, 2005 issue)
Write letter to the editor.Click here.
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