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Wednesday, July 12, 2006
Roman Holiday
By Rene Lizada
Papa's Table
THAT is the title of the movie that stars Audrey Hepburn and Gregory Peck. It was released in 1953 and it is in magnificent black and white. The film is about a princess (Hepburn) who gets bored with her being a princess and decides to run away and see the sights of Rome. There she meets Peck who plays a reporter. I will stop there. It is a very interesting movie.
Two weeks ago, my wife and I watched Roman Holiday. And right away, we noticed a couple of things. The beautiful, almost angelic face of Audrey Hepburn and her unbelievable waistline. She is a wonderful actress but it is her face that really is so beautiful. In fact, my wife kept saying that she was so pretty and beautiful and whatever. In the first part of Roman Holiday, Hepburn had her hair long but as the movie went on, she decided to it have cut. Either way, she was still pretty.
The following day, my wife told me if she could, she would want a waistline like that of Hepburn. I said that could only be possible if I had the abs and the face of Peck. She told me that she could at least try to have that waistline. In my married life, I have learned when to open my mouth and when to shut up. This was the time to clam up because whatever I would say, the fault would still be mine. This was an impossible situation. And I was hoping that she would drop the subject. Tough luck because she did not. In fact she was now looking at the mirror and wondering. I was just wondering and hoping that somehow our mirror would be transformed into a magic mirror where my wife could have her Hepburn waistline. And she asked me again if she could have the waistline. I told her the truth, she could.
And that was the truth because for sometime now, my wife has been on a diet. She started this diet of hers when she discovered that her pants would no longer fit her. Her pants, not fitting, are the equivalent of Armageddon. She was so worried about that reality that she went on a diet pronto. She would not eat anything else but soup and salad and bread. That was her staple food. Actually without my wife knowing it, I was also on a diet. Leftovers!!! But that is another story.
I guess my wife was really serious about her diet because she actually lost some pounds. While I, on the other hand, gained pounds. I know that sounds crazy but when you eat leftovers you tend to eat more. Anyway. I guess it also pushed my wife to diet when some of her friends told her that she gained some weight. And if there is one thing you should never talk about with my wife it is her weight, because if you do then much to your chagrin, you will never hear the end of it. But my wife is a determined person and when she says that she will do it, no steak, no dessert, no pastry will deter her from her anointed task of losing weight. And so it was with that that she told me her latest ambition.
About two days ago, our youngest son Gabo told me he wanted to watch Mama movies. We asked him what Mama movies were and he said nonchalantly, "yung mga gusto ni Mama like love stories and Steven Seagal." Yes, you read it right. My wife likes Steven Seagal because according to her, it takes away her stress. That is good for me because without Steven, the stress will be directed somewhere else. But too much violence can mean added stress also. So I decided that I would let my wife watch an innocent and violent-free movie like Roman Holiday. I thought that by doing so she would be released of the stress. It did but now I have a problem. Now she is asking me if she could have the Hepburn waistline. I should have stuck with Steven Seagal.
I am thinking of watching WWF because they say it releases stress. That may be but I am also afraid that when my wife watches those beefy wrestlers she might turn to me and say, "Rene now that I have the Hepburn waist maybe it is time you should have the body of The Rock." Now that will bring stress in me.
For Bisaya stories from Davao. Click here. (July 12, 2006 issue)
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