Sunday, November 12, 2006 Gil: Come fly with me! By Sandy Gil Sunday Dunes
I RECENTLY flew to Manila -- after three months of being away from family -- to take a much-needed break from life. And for some reason or other, I have become more keenly sensitive to the inevitable conditions of traveling, such as checking in and so on. Perhaps such insights are brought about by graceful dementia, more commonly known as aging.
Checking in at the airline counter is boring. They initially ask if you are carrying liquid stuff in your luggage. Hello??? Such questions are never asked of women! Security should assume that the traveling female population ALWAYS has liquid stuff in their bags. How can we survive without our lotions, perfumes, foundations, and so on? As a result, my old reliable stroller bag - which generally plays the role of a carry-on -- transforms into a check-in bag.
Sigh. This line of interrogation triggers off a lot of things that tend to loiter in my mind. By the time it is my turn to be asked which seat I would prefer, I usually reply with a few options: beside the pilot (or on his lap) or beside a handsome (and/or rich) male passenger. In response, I normally get a blank stare from the check-in personnel.
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With the threat of terrorist attacks at the airport, this recent trip to Manila was interesting enough. One of the newest security measures is to ask all passengers to remove their shoes and place it on the metal detector machine. While I can imagine how creative terrorists can be, I had wished that the airport management could provide a cleaner carpet on which passengers can walk as they anticipate the arrival of their shoes at the exit of the machine.
I had expressed my apprehension to an airport security personnel that one of my shoes might get stuck inside the machine. Would they then be able to replace it? As expected, he just stared at me. Sigh. Well, the least they could do is provide us slippers for our sensitive soles to avoid their grimy carpet. I think the floor itself was even cleaner.
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The most uncomfortable situation that a traveler can encounter is being greeted by someone who knows you, but you cannot say the same thing about that person. As you exchange pleasantries, you try to activate memory cells and browse through the files in your brain. Unfortunately, my mental computer does not really work as efficiently. As I said, it might be that graceful dementia.
So I normally end up becoming a Famas best actress awardee, soaking with intuitive pretensions. As I continue with the small talk, I console myself with silent thoughts that it is indeed a curse to be so famous. Should I therefore keep an I.D. picture and pen handy in case someone asks for my autograph?
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Have you ever noticed that before take off and landing, the flight attendants tell window-seated passengers to open their windows? I have wondered about that often... And just for the sake of giving myself the chance to come up with the most inane answers, I have never asked the flight attendants why the windows should be open.
Do you know what? I figured that the windows must remain open because the pilot cannot see the rear of the aircraft as it backs out from its parking area. This idea prods me to wonder that if in flying forward, can the aircraft likewise fly backward.
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There is one particular airline that requires its passengers to know how to lip-read. This airline generally plays television sitcoms in its video screens, minus the sound. Interesting, don't you think?
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Once the seat belt signs are turned off, the aircraft is usually still climbing to its assigned altitude. This is the best time to test your mountain climbing skills by going to the front comfort rooms and then returning to your seat again. It's such a weird feeling -- as if one's buttocks were so heavy that it's pulling you backward as you climb towards the comfort room. It's as if your feet needed brakes for you to return to your seat safely.
I enjoy doing that, even if the call of nature is totally unnecessary! That's when I sing "one little, two little, three little Indians" forward and backward, before I go out of the comfort room.
