Sunday, November 26, 2006 Hurting your children By Jenny Molbog-Mendoza Young Mom
MOST children are mischievous, as what we often hear from mothers who are talking about their children (especially their children who are still in pre-school and elementary years).
Mothers would often speak of what mischiefs their children have gotten into, from climbing the trees (and home furniture at times), to digging the soil in flower pots, to bathing their cat with mom's favorite perfume...or worse, pouring all of its content into the toilet bowl.
When these things happen, how do you usually react? Give me an honest answer please.
Oftentimes, we tend to freak out. Shout to our children (on top of our lungs) while calling them names (not-so-good to hear names, to be exact).
I have two sons. One just turned six years old while the other one is three.
Looking after two boys who are in their "most playful and naughty years" is a challenging job.
At first, you would hear them giggling while sharing their stories -- from what happened in school to the latest toys they have seen on television. After an hour (or should I say less than an hour for a number of times), the laughing and giggling will be replaced with horrible shouts in between sobs.
"Ayan na naman sila, nag-aaway na naman," I often tell myself.
Hearing those shrill and irritating voices can make you mad, especially when you are busy doing the usual yet unending household chores.
"Kuya, ano na naman ba ang nangyari? Ha? Hindi ba't ang sabi ko, mag-behave kayong dalawa kasi maraming ginagawa si mama? Sinunod nyo ba? Please lang naman mga anak, makinig kayo kay mama?"
"Si Jib-Jib po kasi biglang inagaw ang Game Boy," my eldest son, Jouie Boy, would quip.
"Ayaw po kasing magpahiram ni Kuya. Eh kanina pa po siya naglalaro," Jib-Jib would retaliate.
The issue gets resolved but after a while, you would hear punches. There you go again, you stop from what you are doing then proceed to the room where the children are.
"Kailangan ba talagang kukurutin muna kayo bago kayo susunod?"
I really hate hurting my children. And I think no parent likes to do it to their children.
Whenever I do it to my children, I always feel guilty. I already feel that I am no longer a good mother since
I don't have enough patience to fully understand that my children are just children... that they are just tiny human beings who have to be guided accordingly all the way for them to follow the right path. Sometimes, I forget this reality.
The guilt feeling would worsen when the children would relay to my husband that I became a "dragon" once more early that day (that's how they describe me whenever I get mad). I don't want them to look at me as monster whom they should be scared about.
Well, we could impart to them the value of discipline without hurting them, both physically and mentally.
I read one article that said talking to your children sincerely is the best approach in disciplining them.
Through this, they get to realize their mistakes without taking away their self-esteem and self-confidence. I do believe in that, until the next punch comes around.
(Reactions, comments, suggestions? Please e-mail me at jgcmmendoza@yahoo.com)
