Monday, January 29, 2007 Like Steven, like Rene? By Rene Lizada Papa’s table
IF you know my wife Chona you will agree with me that she is sweet, smiling and charming. There is something about her that makes people feel at ease with her. Chona always has that smile and that charm that can disarm people. A lot of her friends call her up to talk about their problems and their worries.
My children run to her when there is something disturbing them. When people meet my wife they always smile and embrace and make beso beso with her. People really feel happy when they see my wife because she is such a sweet person. But I know something about my wife that they do not. And today you will find discover one of her secrets. Of course I had to ask my wife's permission to reveal the secret and because she is such a sweet person.
It actually started innocently. We were at home and quite bored. There was nothing on television and we were both staring at the ceiling. My eyes rested upon the DVDs lined up against the rack and I asked my wife if she wanted to watch a movie.
She muttered something which I took for a yes. Feeling a little cheesy that night I asked if she wanted to watch "You've Got Mail" that romantic comedy starring Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan.
She said that she did not want to watch a love story. I stood and peered at the DVDs and rattled off some titles. I conveniently left out the action and violent films that I love. Still she did not like any of the wholesome titles I gave out.
I was about to give up when she suddenly said, "ang gusto ko Steven Seagal. Yung patayan." I slowly turned my head towards her and asked if she was serious. She said yes. Her only condition was "basta make sure na hindi patay ang bida, hindi patay si Steven Seagal."
I thought to myself, wow ibang klase din itong asawa ko. So, we ended up watching a Steven Seagal film complete with karate chops, flying kicks, gun battles, explosions, car chases, mayhem and chaos. She loved it. I know she loved it because she did not fall asleep. We slept contented.
Two or three days later I asked if she wanted to watch another movie. Feeling like a child I suggested Shrek. She said no. She wanted to watch Mission Impossible Two, the one directed by John Woo Wow, I thought. My wife finally is acquiring my taste for entertainment.
So that night we watched Mission Impossible Two. And it was a lot of fun. But the movies did not end there. For some reason my wife has started to watch all the films that I normally watch. As of this writing we have watched Die Hard 2 and Bad Boys 2. In fact we have watched Lethal Weapon 1, 2, 3 and 4. My wife is turning out to be a violent woman.
And I am running out of films that she can watch. I know that if this continues then we shall have to watch the other action films like Assault On Precinct 13, The Warriors, the Dirty Harry series, the Terminator films and all the Steven Segal films.
For some reason my wife likes Steven Seagal when he was young at least. (Have you seen Steven lately? Na midlife ata!) But going back, yes my wife likes to watch Steven and because of that I am planning to have my hair like Steven! If I cannot move like him at least I can look like him.
Luckily I have Under Siege and Exit Wounds and Out For Justice and Marked for Death. I still have to get The Glimmer Man though. What next? I am afraid that she will ask for Rambo!
But that is half the story, well at least for me. You see a few years ago my wife would never watch violent films because she really did not like them. And I would never watch Filipino films. But guess what! Things have changed.
My wife has suddenly become a fan of action films and her midlife husband now loves to watch Filipino love stories. Specially the love stories. Sometimes I even know more about showbiz chismis because I now watch The Buzz! See what I mean? And for a time I was watching those soap dramas at ABS. I was really getting the hang of it and I was starting to get hooked but I had to stop watching those shows because my wife would complain. She would tell me that as long as I watch Bea and John Lloyd ( did I really write that?) she could not watch Predator.
So now instead of hearing violins and flutes, you hear machine gun fire, groans of pain, exploding buildings from our speakers in the room. Instead of sentimental walks along river banks and sunset beaches you have dark halls and hot jungles. Instead of words of unending love you have words like, make my day.
