Monday, February 05, 2007
New picture
By Rene Lizada
Papa's Table
LET me explain. Sometime ago a reader commented to me that I looked old in my picture. That I look younger in person. (Ahem!) And that I should change my picture to do justice to my young face!
I thought about that for sometime and then I decided to change my picture. I showed him a picture of me when I was a lot younger and he agreed that it was all right to have the picture. So here it is. (Well those of you who read my articles online will have to contend with no picture. But if you want to take a peek at it you can always email me and I will share it with you!)
Honestly there were about four or five pictures I was choosing from. Having been born at a time when colored pictures were still a dream, I had to choose from those old black and white pictures. There was a picture where I was standing in front of a store holding a softdrink bottle. I was wearing those Indian pants that I guess were popular at that time. I was staring at someone or something. I really cannot remember.
Then there was this other picture in which I was standing in front of our bakery. Where that was I cannot remember. I only know it was a bakery because of the bread stalls at my back. When I showed this picture to some people they were amazed because I looked like an American. I was quite mestizo when I was young. But somehow the blood of the mestizo started to clot and after so many years I finally look like me.
Then there was this picture of me when I was baby but I chose not to give that because parang OA na. I was looking at the camera.
I do not know about you but when I stare at pictures of my youth I am simply astounded by the fact that I looked so innocent, so pure and so clean. It was as if the world had not touched me yet. There was no pain, no disappointments, no shattered dreams. Nothing. My life was still a dream that had to be fulfilled, a path that had to be undertaken.
And yet when I stared at all those pictures, though they were taken at different ages I noticed that with the changing of features there was one thing that really did not change. My eyes. My eyes were the same all throughout. Even to this day my eyes have remained the same.
My eyes have seen so many things. As I look back at the expanse that has been my life so far I see images and colors, experiences and events that have caused me great joy and also great pain. I have seen how light turns to dark and dark to light.
I have seen countless people who have made me cheer for them and at the same time shake my head in disbelief. I have seen great moments of celebration like the birth of my children and yet I have also seen sorrow in the slipping of dreams and wishes. I have seen the faces of people who have made me believe in persons. I have seen hypocrisy and truth, dawn and twilight.
I have seen my wife become that woman that she truly is. I have seen her blossom into her full light. I have seen my children in their journeys and angst and worries. But also I have seen them in their worlds of their creations. I have seen my friends and their friendship.
Recently I was staring at our wedding picture. My wife and I have been married for 21 years now and with God's grace we pray that we will go on and on. And on. While I was looking at the picture I was surprised at the expression of our eyes. Mine and Chona's.
Here we were on the portrait. Barong and wedding gown. We both looked so slim, well she was slim and I was "slimmer." Here we were smiling, confident that our love would be able to conquer everything, which our love would endure. We saw the world that was to come in the light of our eyes. Our eyes beamed reflected the new beginning. We were so brave, so innocent, so pure, so confident.
After 21 years our eyes have remained the same. A little weary, a little hurt and perhaps even a little scared. But our eyes have become holy and sacred. Purified by the challenges and the valleys of our lives. Cleansed with the sobering realization that our love was not enough, that it needed the love of God to keep our sanities and our dreams intact.
Our eyes have been opened with the truth of life and what it entails. Our eyes have been witnesses to the events that God has allowed into our lives. Our eyes have become light posts that have guided us to where we are now.
Our eyes indeed go beyond the physical. They delve into the very heart of our beings and the depth of our eternities. Our eyes capture the light and transform the images and form them in our wandering souls. Our eyes are our guide. Always looking, always capturing. Always giving us new pictures.
For more Philippine news, visit Sun.Star Manila. For Bisaya stories from Davao. Click here. (February 5, 2007 issue)
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