Sunday, March 04, 2007 Estremera: The angel of death By Stella A Estremera Spider's web
The moment we are born, we are forever stepping closer to our death. No one escapes that end. Some may be able to hold it at bay for years, others may end up dead in the most unexpected way right at this very moment, others may suffer for years before death can claim them, but everyone dies in the end. How true. Otherwise, mortuary plans, memorial lots, coffins, and ash urns wouldn't be such big businesses.
ONE more friend has left this world. I guess I should expect that having made a big bunch of barkada in the generation before me, usually earning a surprised look or two from their children who are nearer my age. But death is still death and along with it comes fear and sadness and regret... and that tendency not to delve on it beyond the people who have already died. And thus my mind rambles on... trying to make sense but not succeeding.
In this world and its nuances of good manners and right conduct, the inevitable death of the still alive is just isn't a topic for polite company. It's like you're wishing it on that person, as if not speaking about it will make us live forever... funny. Morbid, but funny.
We know for a fact that everyone dies. We just don't want to and are not supposed to look forward to it nor wish it on anyone. Although the way things are going in our world today, it may not be polite to wish death on anyone within hearing distance of the general public, but it has become standard operating procedure to impose it on and secretly plan it for perceived enemies -- enemies of the state, enemies of faith and beliefs, enemies of wealth, enemies of family and kin, enemies of perception, enemies of egos, and just plain "trip lang" enemy. We only have to count the rising number of imposed deaths to see the greater number of reasons for these, worldwide. But that's digressing into yet another insane facet of life and what we have allowed it to be.
"Our body belongs to the Angel of Death," a passage in the book "Beyond Fear, The Teachings of Don Miguel Ruiz on Freedom and Joy" struck me.
First, there was fear. Like, who wouldn't fear the angel of death and the thought that it owns our body? The name itself sends shivers and images of that black hooded creature wielding a scythe.
And then came understanding...
Indeed, the moment we are born, we are forever stepping closer to our death. No one escapes that end. Some may be able to hold it at bay for years, others may end up dead in the most unexpected way right at this very moment like maybe having a helicopter door fall on you while fishing at sea, others may suffer for years before death claims them, but everyone dies in the end. How true and people know this for a fact. Otherwise, mortuary plans, memorial lots, coffins, and ash urns wouldn't be such big businesses.
The difference now lies in how we live the period in between, that period we call life. We may never know when we will reach our ultimate destination, but for as long as we trudge on forward, then there's nothing to fear, nothing to regret and wish to return to.
After all, it seems so stupid to fear the inevitable. Competing, in fact, should be more fearful because while we would like to win, we may lose, too. But, death? It's as certain as the sunrise. It's just that we will never know for certain which sunrise we will not wake up to or which sunset we will no longer see. At least we know there will be that one sunrise and that one sunset reserved for us...
Given this certainty of where we are going and uncertainty of when we will go, the appropriate feeling should then be excitement. It just seems so logical to react this way. But of course, our world has never been logical despite all the logic it has tried to cloak its existence in. A word of caution too: If you do find the logic in being excited about death, keep that excitement to yourself because in this world we live in, waking up every morning with a big grin because anytime you'll be dead isn't an acceptable way of living. It may be logical, but it's just not sane... And you thought being logical is being sane. Crazy world, isn't it?
Now that I have befuddled you about death and angels and the period in between called life, and struck fear in you by bringing forth the image of a black-shrouded creature with a scythe... excuse me while I fit in another whole life today...
Oops... I just remembered... if there's anything people fear so much to talk about, it is their death. Sorry for giving you the creeps. It's just that when news about the death of that friend reached me just hours after he passed away, it brought forward realities, like how many of them have already gone ahead and... I'm just glad I was reminded of my mortality once more.
Indeed, it helps to be reminded of my temporary state every once in a while because it gives me time to reflect on how I have fared so far. Scared? Don't be. Feel excited, just don't show it to the people at large because in this world, especially in our country, there are more people who look forward to cheering on politicians than welcoming their death. Even if history has shown that the bunch flashing their smiles today can never deliver the promises they're making and can even make life miserable for many tomorrows to come, while death can end all miseries and will deliver what is expected of it.
"With the concept of the Angel of Death, you know that nothing really belongs to you. It belongs to the Angel of Death. Whatever comes to us we can use and enjoy, but we do not own it. If we lose something, we will suffer less if we realize that we never really owned it anyway. Traveling light, without the pressure of ownership and responsibility, makes us ready for happiness at any moment." (Juan Miguel Ruiz)
Enlightening, right? Logical, even. But try telling that to your boss and you might just end up with a lecture on what sanity (and responsibility) is all about. I did tell you earlier that logic and sanity don't necessarily go together in this world... and my braincells ramble on. No other reality other than death can make your mind wander, on and on and on and... Bye, Jong. (saestremera@yahoo.com)
