Monday, May 21, 2007 You bet! By Miguel Antonio Lizada
SOME words in English have interesting counterparts in our native dialect.
For example, one of my old professors for example calls the "reader" a "kalikha" emphasizing and taking the role of the reader to a whole new level.
Another interesting word is the supposed Tagalog equivalent of "commitment" which is "pagtataya." I find it interesting that the translation of "commitment" is synonymous to a word we usually associate with betting, with taking risks or even gambling.
In what sense is commitment a risk? More importantly, what does person risk, what does a person bet, what does a person somewhat sacrifice when he is when he commits himself to something or someone.
I think when someone chooses to commit himself, he loses a part of himself -- be it material (such as money, resources and other investments) or metaphysical (such as time or even reputation and values).
For example, when one commits himself to a particular career, he sacrifices the other potential careers he could have had. When a High School graduate chooses a particular college or University to go to, he sacrifices the educational benefits of the other schools he chose to forego -- Economists I think call this an "opportunity cost."
All the more perhaps when one chooses to commit himself in a relationship or in marriage, when one places himself in a life partnership.
Commitment implies sacrifice. That much is clear. But why a risk? What makes it a risk? For one, I think that part and parcel of a commitment is a personal submission to the unknown. You know that you do not know.
When you make a simple bet on which basketball team you think will win, you sacrifice your money to something unknown because you do not really know if the team you are rooting for is taking going to take home the gold. Yes, there are statistics, analyses and predictions but a certain shroud of doubt still remains.
Similarly when one commits himself to a University, there is still some doubt that he might not completely get the education he wants despite the financial and academic investment. When one commits his entire being, when one gives himself to a relationship, there is still the lingering possibility that the relationship might fail.
As such, it seems that when one makes a "pagtataya" one not only gives a part of himself but he risks losing this part as well.
Is commitment then nothing more than a gambling of Self-similar to the way people gamble money with cards? Is "pagatataya" synonymous as well to "pagsusugal?"
The philosopher, Gabriel Marcel calls commitment an "extension of the credit" where you place yourself in the hands of an X, a mystery similar to the way a person places money in say, a bank.
For Marcel, placing yourself in a commitment implies a sense of trust in this X will take good care of this investment. And this is what I believe separates "pagtataya" from "pagsusugal."
What characterizes a commitment then more than the sacrifice of the Self and even the inherent risk, is the trust and sense of goodwill, which fuels the act.
It is not believing in a positive outcome but believing that this commitment has the potential to make me a better person.
It is not saying that education in this school will make land me a high-paying job in the future but it is saying that there is something in this school worth spending time and money for.
It is not saying that this person I will marry is the perfect person but it is saying that there is something in this person I value.
In a few days time, I will begin teaching in the Ateneo de Manila University. The salary for part time teachers with no Mastered degree is not that high.
In fact, I am getting a second job which cannot only help me pay the rent but also buy me a movie ticket or two every so often (movie tickets in Manila usually cost P 120).
I am looking at canned goods and scrambled eggs for breakfast and dinner everyday if I don't get a second high paying job.
It seems like it is going to be hard life out there. But I think it is a learning experience worth partaking. An endeavor worth committing myself into. And a "taya" I am willing to make.
