Wednesday, June 06, 2007 Hair Grower By Rene Lizada Papa's Table
THERE are two things that I love doing with my wife. The first is our Saturday lunches. The second is the twice a month grocery we do. Let me talk about the second one first.
The grocery trip that I have with my wife is an exercise in meditation and despair. Let me explain.
Whenever I go to the grocery with her I am relegated to two things. Pushing the cart and staring at the rows upon rows of grocery items. And that brings me to the meditation bit.
Since I am just pushing the car there is nothing else to do but stare at the groceries, which are lined up. I have actually become an expert in the placement of groceries in our favorite supermarket. I know where the groceries are because I have nothing else to do. When my wife asks me, where is the detergent, I automatically give the lane number.
That is how good I am. Because as I said, there is nothing else to do. Usually my wife is the one ahead of me. She is like the point man in a patrol. She walks ahead and she just stuffs the groceries in the cart. That could be dangerous sometimes because there are times where I accidentally hit her feet with the meditating cart.
I sometimes get lost in my reverie of groceries. You just do not know the flashes of enlightenment I have had while strolling across those lanes of light and discovery. For instance while passing through the deodorant section I have learned that there are so many kinds of odor and armpits as well.
Or when I go through the biscuit section I learn that those cans can be converted into anything. Or how many kinds of noodles there are. Chili garlic, spiced, ordinary, beef, chicken. You get my drift.
While we were passing the shampoos I complained to my wife about an incident that happened some days back. You see I was about to take a shower and I was looking for my romance shampoo. It was not there. So before stepping into the water I went out of the room and asked my wife where my shampoo was.
She said that there was shampoo inside the cubicle. I went back and looked. There was no shampoo. I went back outside and told her. This time she went inside and gave it to me. It was the shampoo that said, hair regrow shampoo. I looked at her as if she had gone insane. I complained. She said, use that muna.
I would not have made a fuss out of it except for one small thing. My hair grows fast. In fact I have my hair cut every two weeks because it grows that fast. And now my beloved wife is handing me shampoo that is specially made for hair growth? What does she want me to be, a hippie? But it was useless and so I took the shampoo and placed only a little on my hair because I was afraid of shampoo overdose. I did not want to become a werewolf because of shampoo.
Then we passed the sardines. My wife said, "kunin mo yang brand na yan kasi yan ang gusto ng mga bata." Then she went ahead and I picked up the brand that she asked me to. When she returned she looked at the me and said, "kinuha mo ba yung brand na sinabi ko?"
Going to the grocery can also be an act of despair because every time I pass the sections that I like my wife looks at me and says No. She knows me that well. When we were still starting out and the kids were not there yet I usually was able to buy imported junk food.
Now that we have three grownup children I get hopia. And so when we pass the imported junk food she looks at my desperate face and says No. When we pass the chocolates and I start to think of brown fantasies she wakes me and says No.
I try to give that Puss in Boots look but to no avail. She does not buy it and so I resign myself to the fate of meditation and despair. And so I sludge through the corridors, thinking, reflecting, wanting and craving.
But my wife knows. So when we are at the end of our groceries she turns to me and says. “sige kuha ka junk food.” And with that I rush through the aisles at light speed and when I get to the junk food I go around like a mosquito in a nudist camp. I have fun. This is my highlight. Until we get to the counter.
Sometimes I get overboard kasi and I end up putting aside some the things I get. But that is all right. Something is better than nothing. But something does turn to nothing because the junk food in our home has a life expectancy of two days. Blame those three boys. They get the junk food and I get the hopia. But that is all right. I love mongo hopia anyway.
I love going to the grocery with Chona. Now I better watch my hair because this hair regrow shampoo seems to be working.
