As the old cliché goes: “There's no such thing as a perfect wedding." Only beautiful memories to cherish for a lifetime.
Dr. Karen Macasaet Oreta, a dentist by profession but claimed to be a housewife by choice, said: "I married the first person I learned to love -- my first boyfriend. It was held in our beach resort on Samal Island on May 28, 1995. It was also the same day when there was electricity in the entire island.
But the wedding preparations only took five days. A one month preparation would have been very helpful to prevent the stress. To sum it all, it was a very unique. Indeed, a wedding worth remember."
Manila-based Che Maramara, who had her wedding at the picturesque Paradise Island Park and Beach Resort in 1994, said she couldn't find anything else to change.
"The presence of people closest to me made it very special. I just wish my dad made it," Che revealed.
Shirelyn, my best friend who married my brother-in-law Eric on August 28, 2001 at the Davao Convention Center where she works as an account executive-cum-events coordinator, shared, "I couldn't forget the exchange of our personal vows during the wedding ceremony. The time when I walked the aisle was also very memorable. But if I were to change some things, I'd replace the song during the lighting of the candles and shorten the time allotted for the pictorials."
Take it from them. There will always be a thing or two to improve, minor glitch to overlook and a whole new experience to encounter in every meaningful wedding.
The Right Mindset
The big day is coming. The day you have dreamed of for years -- your wedding is just around the corner. Of course, you want everything to come out right, making sure of all the details. But trying as hard not be so stressed so as not to miss the joy of it all. (Planning your own wedding is fun. I sure did have a great time planning mine.)
Make every effort to maintain a spiritual perspective during a time filled with details and deadlines. Involving others is part of having the right mindset. Seeking spiritual advice helps the bridal couple to avoid another wedding disaster, fights and quarrels. Emotions run high at this time. Thus, having an objective spiritual advisor helps a lot.
I recommend that engaged couples undergo a pre-marriage counseling (PMC) series. This, aside from the one's being conducted at barangay health centers where the half-day seminar tackles only responsible parenthood and family planning program.
Many couples enter this important time in their lives unprepared. A PMC will help the couple prepare spiritually, financially, physically, mentally and emotionally not just for the wedding but for their married life together.
Wedding Preparations
Choosing a Date
Plan well ahead on the date of the wedding as soon you get engaged. Make sure you are united as a couple about it, and despite possible changes, try to fix the date as early as possible. Three to six months preparation would be ideal.
Consider the time frame for necessary financial needs to be met. The earlier the better to have the cash on hand. Also consider work schedule, availability of facilities for ceremony and reception. It's better to have several dates in mind before settling for a final date.
Budgetary Constraints
Plan only what you have. It's not wise to spend a huge amount of money you have borrowed from somebody for your wedding. You will have to pay the consequences of a stressful marriage after the ceremony.
Stay within your financial budget and try not to make your wedding a financial budget. Increasing debt to have your dream wedding has a long term impact on your married life. Also, consider the financial impact your wedding has on the other's involved.
Some friends I know were so keen on tying the knot early without even saving up for it. They're still paying up debts even as of this writing. Tsk. Tsk. Tsk.
Consider how much will your families contribute? How much you can contribute from your savings? What kind of reception fits into your budget?
It may be a cake only reception, cocktails, buffet style dinner, sit down dinner or plate-in types. How many people will attend the reception. Have a guest list of family members, sponsors, entourage, friends, work colleagues and relatives then trim the list. What time will the wedding be?
In case of budget constraints, miss out the main mealtime. A cocktail style reception will keep costs down.
Budget costs for: rental of facilities (ceremony and reception), marriage license, medical exams, wedding invitations, postage, bridal couple's wear (I see no problem of renting them or borrowing from friends), rings (You may find cheap but lovely ones at local jewelry shops), floral arrangement and flowers for entourage (You may order them at Bankerohan flower shops. Then have some friends who have a touch for flowers arrange them for you or hire a florist to do it), photographer and videographer (You can find a reasonable package ranging from P5,000 to 10,000. Some would charge as high as P15,000 to P25,000), bridal car (It's best to borrow if you don’t have one. It doesn't even have to be in the same color of your motif though), cake, souvenirs, make-up artist, entertainment and honeymoon, among other essentials.
Choosing the Entourage
Make use of your maid of honor and bride's maids. They're called as such (maids!) so they can be of great assistance to you not just on the wedding day but also during the entire wedding preparations.
Give them assignments. Put in charge of the guest list, souvenirs, payments after the reception, entertain guests, signature frame and money dance? The groom's men can help, too. That goes on my saying that choose only dearest people as members of your entourage so they won't have bad feelings about you giving them assignments.
The numbers? It's still up to your budget.
Bridal Entourage Rehearsal
Send out invitations for a bridal entourage rehearsal set at least one week before the Big Day. This will give those involved a glimpse of what will happen during the ceremony. This will also give you time for necessary adjustments.
In most cases, some members of the entourage and principal sponsors won't be making it on the wedding date. The bridal rehearsal set a week before final day would give you an idea who you can contact as proxy for them.
Whew! There's tons of work to do if you want to get married. I'm sure to have missed some details. That leaves me to wonder why there are still so many who want to tie the knot despite the immense task that goes with it.
