Thursday, July 05, 2007 Seat smart guide for air travellers By Dorothy Bangayan The unlonely planet
YOUR seat in a flight is ninety percent responsible for the major comfort of your air travel. Map your seating arrangement like you would strategize for World War III. Now in this article, we will tackle the pros and cons of airline seats.
Window seats get the best view of course. Your territorial powers extend to the window cover. You can pull it up or down. You can lean on the wall instead of nodding off and dribbling saliva on a stranger's shoulders.
You can stick post it notes on it or make fog breath art. Bring tanning lotion and you can try getting a tan (assuming your flight time is daylight). And if you like lots of attention, you will definitely get everyone's at your row whenever you announce that you need to take a piss.
Aisle seats are for those with little bladder control. Save your seat mates the annoyance of getting up for the 10th time you need to go. It also offers the most spacious legroom compared to aisle and window and you get first pick of chicken or beef.
Middle seats are for losers. As per airline etiquette, they should get both armrests because that is the only luxury they can afford. To be honest, I cannot see any advantage unless you are sandwiched in between Brad Pitt and George Clooney.
Bulkhead Seats are a dilemma. These are the seats in front of the wall that divides a plane into sections like economy and business class or galleys and toilets. No reclining seats in front of you so that means more legroom. On the other hand, the armrest is immovable because the trays and TV are connected to the armrest. Another thing, bulkheads ups the chances of sitting beside a frail infant with the lungs of an opera singer.
Bassinets are baby beds located on a bulkhead seat. This is a lifesaver for frazzled mothers and a big nuisance for other passengers subjected to consistent wailing and baby vomit.
I have never seen a flight attendant double as a baby sitter yet but maybe when I become one, I will write a letter of suggestion to my airline.
Exit row seats have more legroom. If a flight attendant makes you change seats, that means you look like a wimp and cannot lift the exit doors or you don't seem to be mentally stable enough to let other passengers out first in an emergency.
Seats near the toilet can only mean two things. Approximately 30 minutes after a meal, there will be a long line of people waiting for their turn at the john with their only form of entertainment is to stare at you sleeping with your mouth open.
Secondly, for some reason, the very same people always have this sacred ritual of shaking their hands and splattering water all over after they finish up. If you happen to be seated here, bring an umbrella. (and try not sleep with an open mouth).
A seat near the galley (kitchen) means two things. You get to be served first or you get to be served last. For some, the smell of hot meals and the clatter of kitchen cutlery is a comfortable reminder of home. Unless, of course, like the author, you get sick at the smell of preheated food when you are 30,000 feet above ground.
In terms of location, Front and Middle seats are the best place for airsick passengers. It is less sensitive to turbulence compared to the seats in the back. Some rear seats cannot recline and some can recline even more than normal. Rear seats can also be noisy depending on the plane's engine.
Now, trying to get your seat of choice is an altogether tricky matter. Some airlines allow you to make requests upon ticketing although there is no guarantee. If you are a frequent flier, you may have some pull over choice seats.
Some airlines like Cathay Pacific allow you to check in online and choose. Now, if you don't fall in any of the above and your name is not Lucio Tan or Lance Gokongwei, then it won’t hurt to arrive early and request for a nice seat upon check in.
Try to sound like you do this often. Say it like you would order a Starbucks expresso. "I would like mine front row, aisle seat,, steer clear of the bassinet."
If you are traveling in pairs and the seats are in three. Try to snatch up aisle and window. This will make it less desirable for anyone to snatch up that lone middle seat leaving both of you with a roomier disposition. And if someone does get it, he/she will be willing to switch seats to either aisle or window anyway.
If you are a single woman traveling alone, try request that you be seated besides a fellow female or a nun or perhaps maybe a tall dark handsome and SINGLE guy. Now, if for some reason or other, you were not able to get a good one or your seat mate belches like a hog, check the plane for empty seats. Once the plane takes off, you can transfer quietly.
Take note that like delays and in laws, you have limited control over seating arrangements. The check in agent still hold this power and if you are in the running for world's most condescending passenger, then you will feel the ire of their wrath when you assigned at the world's worst seat. Remember that nice gets nice.
