Sunday, September 09, 2007 Gil: Life questions By Sandy Gil Sunday Dunes
MANY events have happened in my fifty-two going on fifty-three. I have experienced highs and lows, ups and downs – and more often than not, it is more of the same daily routine. In a sense, the same daily routine is a blessing for it is certainly better than the lows and the downs.
Rather recently, I have witnessed people who have been forced to come face to face with certain life questions. Life questions are quite interesting since they sum up everything that you have become and continue to become.
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Life questions include those which have to do with certain aspects of life. I once had a life question about my motherhood. More than ten years ago, when I decided to accept the invitation to work in Davao City, I had to come face to face with the fact that I was leaving three (then) little children behind -- a 13-year old daughter, a nine-year-old son and a four-year-old daughter. I had left, not because I was flying to the Middle East to earn a living so that they could go to good schools. I had left for a rather selfish reason: professional advancement.
When I look back, it sort of grips my heart. I must have been very courageous or totally ignorant, perhaps both. Or maybe worse...
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There was nothing illegal about my moving to Davao. In fact, I had initially intended to stay only for a while, just to have a little taste of something different.
The first years were a struggle. Pressure from my Mom and Dad, my brothers and sisters was enormous, like boulders and boulders of rock piled on my head, shoulders and chest. No one in Manila, my original home, agreed to my coming to Davao. And their reason that bled my heart most was my motherhood. It was then a question of morals. My character, my personhood and my very essence were attacked.
Worse still, it was a question of political correctness. Was my decision to leave Manila suitable to those directly affected by the decision? Certainly not… My children were the only ones who, in their blessed innocence, had the ability to accept my decision.
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Well, it took more than ten years to transform a soul-wrenching decision to an acceptable one, although there are still tiny remnants of complaints (particularly from my Mom). Today, I know more about what is going on in Manila with my children than those who are physically closer to them. I am assured that my children know who to run to when they need a shoulder to cry on, a person to share their victories with, and… of course, a pocket to dig into.
It took a long time... And, as my children say it: You rock, Mom!
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There are people around me who appear to be going through similar phases of life questions. Perhaps it is time to dig deep into one's own core -- without fear of confronting the truth, painful as it may be.
Always, I have thought about life as a basket full of questions, like a box of chocolates… you never know what’s in it until you bite into it.
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There are only three questions I can think of in handling life questions: Is it legal? This question is so fundamental. If one’s decision is guided by law, then there should be no problem, no guilt.
Is it moral? This is a more difficult question to answer. Even when certain decisions and actions are legal, the question of morals must still be addressed. For instance, I might legally be a millionaire… But given a situation where I am surrounded by poverty, would it be moral to display my wealth in times of public want?
And finally, is it politically correct? Even when one’s decision or action is legal, and one might firmly believe it is moral, the next level is asking whether the decision or action is acceptable to the community to which one belongs.
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My motherhood is legal. Ten years ago, my morals and political correctness were put in question by my family. Today, I am glad that I have been able to handle a life question posed to me ten years ago.
