Wednesday, September 26, 2007 At the end By Rene Lizada Papa's Table
I HAVE a book of prayers that I am using now. It is different from the usual book of prayers that we have, you know Bible verses and reflections. This book contains those things but it also has other interesting insights coming not only from Christianity but other beliefs as well.
The Koran has plenty of deep thoughts in the book. The Buddha also shares some his thoughts. Also from Hindus, saints, scientists, poets, writers, and of course that prolific writer, Anonymous. . And to make things even better there are questions that one can use for meditation and reflection.
A few days ago the object of my prayer was a question in that book. And the question was " What do I want at the end of my life?"
As I stared at that question a lot of thoughts raced through my mind. What do I want at the end of my life? What do I want at the end of my life? What do I want at the end of my life?
In the frenzied state of most of our lives we seem to forget one thing -- that this life will end. That all of us will die. No one is exempted. What then will be our legacy and the memory that people will have of us when we are gone. Will they be happy when we are gone?
Will they heave a sigh and say, "ay mabuti, wala na s'ya." Will they grieve and mourn our passing? What will our family say about us? Our spouses and our children. Our friends. What will they think of when they see our body laid out in a coffin in some church? What words will they share?
What will they say about the life we led? Will they be kind? Will they be grateful? Will they be silent? Will they celebrate our memory with jokes and anecdotes? Will people smile and laugh and say in silent respectful nostalgia, "totoo yan, mabait and enjoy talaga s'ya."
But perhaps those things are secondary to the truth that must be asked and faced at the end of our lives. True, those accolades may be wonderful but the reality of things is what you will think of yourself at the end. And so we go back to the question, what do I want at the end of my life?"
I have always believed that everything has a purpose, a reason. We are not accidents or consequences. We are more than that. We are beings of purpose. There is a reason why we are here. Why we were ushered into this world. There is a reason for everything that happens to us. And it stands that there is some thing that only you and I can do.
A mission if you wish. And we must be true to that purpose and aim. Our ambition is not necessarily our purpose. Our dream is not necessarily the meaning of our life. If it were so then why are there so many successful people who are miserable. Riches do not bring happiness and meaning. So many rich people have so many phantoms and shadows. What we are in this noisy world is not who we are in the silence of truth. What we are is not who we are.
Our purpose is to be true to our self. Our purpose is to find out what we want in our hearts and souls. The will of God is the will we want for ourselves. Oftentimes we struggle and ask the question, what is God's will for me? In truth what the will of God for you is the will of truth that you want for your self.
God will not interfere with what you want. But God will come in the way if God knows that which you are pursuing is not what is meant for you. Think about it. How many times have we tried to pursue something and yet it is always denied by some thing. A force, a situation, a chance encounter which is not really by chance.
And yet when some thing is destined to be ours because it will guide us to our true selves, they come peacefully as wind. The one true sign of something not meant is force. The one true sign of something inherently not for your soul is deception. The one true sign of truth is truth. The one true sign that it is meant to be is ease.
What is for you will not be denied you. What is for you will not get past you. No matter what others do. No matter what others say. Fight for what your heart thinks is right and let God carry the battle. God knows. God knows everything.
Be true to yourself. Do what your heart yearns. Do that which makes you full and meaningful. Listen to the voice that urges you, encourages you and that makes you.
Be yourself for in doing so you do the will of God for you.
