Thursday, January 03, 2008 That's what friends are for By Henrylito D. Tacio Regarding Henry
LAST week, while reading the latest copy of the Asian edition of 'Reader's Digest,' I was interrupted by the sound of my mobile phone. I received a forwarded message from my sister. It said: "Don't count your friends on a sunny day the sky is blue and laughter is abundant. Instead, wait for a storm when the clouds are dark and smiles are scarce. When someone stands beside you and lifts your spirit to the sky, then you'll know who deserves to be called a friend."
Reading the message reminded me of the song of Dionne Warwick: "Keep smiling, keep shining. Knowing you can always count on me for sure. In good times and bad times, I'll be on your side forever more." Well, that's what friends are for!
Perhaps one of the classic songs ever written on friendship was the one sung by James Taylor. "When you're down and troubled, and you need a helping hand, and nothing who, nothing is going right. Close your eyes and think of me and soon I will be there to brighten up even your darkest night." Sure, you've got a friend.
No man is an island, so goes a popular saying. As the Bible puts it: "Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe unto him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up." (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10)
A couple of years ago, an English publication offered a prize for the best definition of a friend, and among the thousands of answers received were the following: (1) "one who multiplies joys, divides grief," (2) "one who understands our silence," (3) "a volume of sympathy bound in cloth," and (4) "a watch which beats true for all time and never runs down."
But here is the definition that won the coveted prize: "A friend - the one who comes in when the whole world has gone out."
George Lord Byron considers friendship as "Love without his wings!" For as Charles Peguy points out, "Love is rarer than genius itself. And friendship is rarer than love." Saint Basil the Great puts it in another perspective: "A tree is known by its fruit; a man by his deeds. A good deed is never lost; he who sows courtesy reaps friendship, and he who plants kindness gathers love."
"What is a friend?" asked philosopher Aristotle. The 1828 Noah Webster dictionary defines a friend as "one who is attached to another by affection; one who entertains for other sentiments of esteem, respect and affection, which lead him to desire his company and to seek to promote his happiness and prosperity."
In other words, a friend "a person with whom I may be sincere" (Ralph Waldo Emerson), "my nearest relation" (Thomas Fuller), "worth ten thousand relatives" (Euripides), "a present you give yourself" (Robert Louis Stevenson), and "the sunshine of life" (John Hay).
Those who have friends are twice blessed, indeed. Zig Ziglar, in his book, 'Something to Smile About,' wrote: "I agree with the statement that if, at the end of life, we can count at least two people who are true friends willing to do anything for us at the drop of a hat, who stand ready when we are hurting or need help, we are indeed fortunate. We can talk with friends about every facet of life - our joys, trials, triumphs, tragedies, hopes, wants, and needs."
"True friendship is like sound health; the value of it is seldom known until it is lost," Henry Ward Beecher quipped. As such, "friendships should be nurtured, faithfully, lest they become fractured though neglect, or cease altogether," to quote the words of C. Neil Strait.
"Three men are my friends," a wise man said. "He that loves me, he that hates me, and he that is indifferent to me. Who loves me teaches me tenderness. Who hates me teaches me caution. Who is indifferent to me teaches me self-reliance."
