Me: Gupit!!
Receptionist: Ay ma'am, meron pa pong dalawang naghihintay.
Me: Matatagalan pa ba 'yan?
Receptionist: Opo. Lalaki kasi yung isa.
Me: Mas matagal magpagupit ang lalaki ngayon?
Receptionist: Yes, ma'am. Marami kasing ginagawa kung sa lalaki.
My braincells: Huh? Ano daw? Ano kaya?
Later with buddy Carlos...
Carlos: Maniwala ka, bakla yun. Dalawa lang ang hairstyle ng lalaki, maikli at mahaba.
My braincells: Heterosexual, bisexual, homosexual, metrosexual... and you thought there was just sex, right?
Two days later, when finally no one was lining up for a haircut and I had my hair done, I proceeded to my favorite hotdog stall:
Tindera: Ano po sa inyo, SIR?
Me: (After staring at her for several seconds to check if she knows how to focus her eyes) Hotdog on a stick. Super Jumbo.
Tindera: Mayonnaise or ketchap?
Me: Hotdog lang.
As the tindera hands over my hotdog...
Me: Nagpa-plunging neckline pala ang lalaki sa inyo?
Tindera: Ay, ma'am, sorry po. Yung buhok po kasi.
My braincells: Your gender is defined by your hair and not what you wear. Thus the role of the salon. Hmmm... (see the first conversation above).
At a bar with some friends...
Friend: Hey, Jun!
(As Jun approaches our table Friend addresses me)
Friend: Of course you know Jun.
Jun: Yeah, matagal na.
My braincells: Who he?
Jun: I often see her before sa... (names a place)
My braincells: Oh yeah? I've been there once or twice, never often.
Jun: How's our friend?
My braincells: We have a common friend?
Jun: (Mentions a name)
My braincells: Finally! A connection!
Me: She's doing well. She's blah-blah-blah...
Jun: I miss that girl. I'm sure she has mentioned me to you but I was having problems then.
My braincells: Ano daw? Kelan?
Me: *Grin*
My braincells: A grin can get you out of a fix quick because it can be interpreted in many ways. But... it can also get you in trouble, quick, because it can be interpreted in many ways.
At a bar, getting zonked for the season while observing a man who introduced himself, claiming affinity because he was with some of my friends, getting zonked faster...
Me: It's okay if you want to go ahead. We can manage on my own.
My braincells: Yeah, we can manage! In fact, we didn't invite you to join us.
Man: Are you sure?
Me: Yeah. Go ahead.
Man: I'll have another drink first because you still have some.
Me: (After seeing him drink his stuff and get more zonked) You can go ahead if you need to.
Man: Are you sure you can manage?
Me: Yeah. I came on my own, I'll leave on my own.
Man: You still have a drink.
Me: I'm okay.
Man: (After more than an hour later) Would you mind if I go ahead?
Me: That's what I've been telling you over an hour ago.
Man: You were?
Me: Yeah, you can go if you want.
Man: Oh, then I'll go ahead, okay.
Me: Oppooooo...!
My braincells: What is it with drunkeness that makes people a pest?
Amid all this mixed up conversations in real life is an undercurrent of the changing lifestyles and changing perceptions of gender. Oh dear...
